recipe

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Make all your beans come true

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Hi. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I haven been on the blogue. I don’t like to complains, but I have a son, and varicose veins. But I have to tell you about when I was making a pot of beans and I remember the time when I help my hijo make his dream come true.

It was summer and I was still with mijo’s father. Mijo and I stayed at home during the vacations from school. Mijo say he was bore being at the house, so I say, “why don’t we make a project?”

Mijo, who was six year old, say, “Can we make something?”

Oh! So cute! I say, “Yes, mijo, what do you want to make?”

He thought for a little bit and say, “I want to make the perfect pedo.”

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Make all your beans come true

Ñewsweek: New Mexico wants tourists — light-skinned tourists

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State tourist official does the New Mexican hat dance when a reporter asks about the casting call advertisement

This POCHO ñewsweek is brought to you in living — and dying — color.

In the Southwest, New Mexico’s tourist board is casting a commercial to promote visits to the state. Who do they want to play the tourists in their commercial? “Caucasians and light-skinned Hispanics.”

And in the Southeast, Florida cowers in the Spotlight o’ Shame as the country asks why an unarmed teenager was killed by a self-styled neighborhood watch vigilante.

These are the stories that made the ñews this week:

Mas…Ñewsweek: New Mexico wants tourists — light-skinned tourists

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: It’s Michelada time!

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Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. My recipe today is inspire by a gringo who saw me drinking a Michelada with my comadre Mari Carmen cause it was Comadre’s Night Out. The gringo tole me, “Escuse me, is that a margarita?”

I wanted to say: No, is a Michelada, menso! But I think thas not classy and I put my hair all spray so I look classy. So I no say the menso part, even though I know he don’t know what menso means.

And you know what? In that momen, I had a revelation, like when Dios or tequila speaks to you…and I know… is my responsibility to teash the pochos about Micheladas.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: It’s Michelada time!

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day salsa

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I’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha. Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.

M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weene ebrywhere.

M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day salsa

Ñewsweek: Chente, Los Grammys and @MexicanMitt

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¡Guadalajara, Guadalajara!

Vicente Fernandez, Los Grammys and the continuing adventures of presidential hopeful @MexicanMitt were the big stories this week on POCHO:

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Nopales for gringos y pochos

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Gwell, I am writing this blogue porque my son said that we went on the google because he was doing a reporte for school.

Y you know what happened when he typed “Mexican Chef”? He said a white guy from Oklahoma popped up first, like he was the most important chef in Mexico or something. So, he tole me I can make better tamales than this gringo with a white mustache and I tole him, yeah, I can.

My pobre son is a little pocho, so him and other pochitos out there have to learn how to make the real food from our homeland. None of that nouveau Latin cuisine shit. My comadre tole me I’m too Mexican for the Food Network. I tole her I don’t want to be on camera anygway cuz I hate my arms.

My blogue is not gonna be call “Spicy It Up” or “Super Delicioso” or nothing like that. There is no going to be no salsa music (whish is Cuban by the gway) playing in the background. Is just me, Tia Lencha, in my cocina with my apron and my son typing on his computer.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Nopales for gringos y pochos

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