I won’t sit back and watch our culture waste away to the wimps weaned on participation trophies, and its more pernicious forbearer, the birthday cake.
Participation trophies are rightly the object of widespread scorn.
Mas…I’m so sorry to tell you, son, but birthday cakes are for closers
We think this short commercial from the Land Down Under urges companies to improve employee morale by giving homesick painters named Mike either a “Mexican Face Tamper” or a “Mexican feast hamper.” We just don’t speak Australian.
PREVIOUSLY ON MEXICAN AUSTRALIAN:
Mas…In Oz, ‘Mexican feast hamper’ means happy employees (video)
Governor Janet Brewer of Arizona has gone missing. Please help by printing out and sharing this poster.
Dear Dr. Danilo Dinero:
I recently received a large cash settlement (six figures) after my Geo Metro was totalled at Melrose and La Cienega by Kim Kardashian’s shoe concierge.
After I pay off the remaining bills, I’ll have $100K in cash. What should I do with the money?
A Man Named Jed
Dear Jed:
Thank you for your over-written, obviously fake letter. Are you perchance referring to the Geo Metro with the new rims? Or am I just throwing in gratuitous links for SEO porpoises? (Whales, dolphins, sea lions, seals, baby seals.)
The real question is where do you, Mr. Nouveau Riche Jed, or whatever your name is, feel most comfortable on Dr. Dinero’s Pyramid of Risk and Reward.™
Can you handle the risk of losing everything or do you want safety even though it nets you less? In these tricky economic times, safety is the obvious choice. The riskier investments — higher on the pyramid — can pay off the most but they come with maximum probability of loss.
Mas…Dear Dr. Danilo Dinero: What should I do with this large cash settlement?
