POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal (he commutes coast-to-coast so he can work nights as Senior Latino Correspondent for The Daily Show) went to Tucson AZ to find out why students there aren’t allowed to take classes in Mexican-American history.
Cameras running, Al interviewed a school board official who was apparently high on ignorance, stupidity and hate.
These are the POCHO stories that broke the ñews this week:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Tucson school board’s exercise in ignorance and hate
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) GOP wannabe Mitt Romney’s Hispanic outreach coordinator Daniel D. Portado, the militant self-deportationist, wants you to stop by the big campaign rally today after you vote for Mitt. Meet your favorite Latino-loving politicians like Gov. Jan Brewer, Sheriff Joe Arpaio and Sheriff Paul Babeu.
(PNS reporting from an undisclosed Goat Ranch in Chihuahua) Mexican Mitt Romney’s headquarters here today released their first television commercial, a tribute to the “most Mexican man in the world.” This ad shows why @MexicanMitt is the leader of the Juan Percent. He doesn’t always make TV commercials, but when he does, they’re pinche funny. Stay wealthy, my friends.
(PNS reporting from THE HEARTLAND) Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum swept the nominating contests in Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado Tuesday night, claiming, “My campaign is far from pooped out.”
The fiercest gay-baiting candidate in recent history, Santorum now has four victories under his belt in the GOP race, more than any other closeted candidate. “People were saying all along I had Big Mo, but they meant I was a big ‘mo.”
A busy ñewsweek brought the return to glory of the original self-deportationist, Daniel D. Portado, who, it turns out, is a fictional character created by POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz; an Alabama plan to import Canadians to replace the immigrant labor that used to keep the state running; and militant MEChA murmurings about the Lack of Visible Latinos in the hit BBC/PBS series Downton Abbey.
Other top stories included First Lady Michelle Obama’s partnership with Caribbean food conglomerate Goya and the astounding “installation art” of Ramiro Gomez, Jr. Here’s our big list:
Mas…Ñewsy Week: Daniel D Portado returns, AL ♥ CA y much more
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POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz joined the Rachel Maddow show on MSNBC Wednesday evening to discuss the fictional Daniel D. Portado character he created in 1994 to mock a racist California anti-immigrant measure. Lalo’s “self-deportation” hoax solution for undocumented residents was reborn last week as GOP hopeful Mitt Romney suggested “illegal” immigrants should “self-deport.”
The Reading Is Fundamental index tracks firms like academic textbook publishers, for-profit educators and sliderule manufacturers.
The RIF index, which reached its highest level (3,141,592) immediately after the election of then Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) in November 2008, sunk to a new low of √-1 in after-hours trading.
Mas…GOP primary votes drive ‘knowledge industry’ shares lower
This is the first-ever recorded instance of “Self-Deportation,” an original Hispanics For Wilson press release dating from Mexican Independence Day, 1994. Daniel D. Portado was then known as “Dr. D. Portado.”
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Even as Republican primary voters in the Sunshine State head to the polls, rumors coming out of the Romney and Gingrich campaigns hint at a startling new development.
Mindful of the tremendous credibility issues raised by the vicious negative ads driving the contest, the candidates may bury the hatchet and declare that only Republican unity can defeat President Obama and “rekindle the American Dream.”
What would a unified GOP stand for? Here’s one report.
President Barack Obama flew into Arizona and was greeted on the tarmac by a nasty Gov. Jan Brewer; POCHO has the audio.
In political news, Herman Cain backed Newt Gingrich in the GOP nomination race and released a new poster, while Newt’s peeps supplied a subtitled version of his Spanish-language TV commercial.
Jerkiosity spread to CT as a small town mayor made small-minded remarks and troubles in Mexico bubbled over the border as far as The Hague.
Click on the [Mas…] for, you know, mas!
Mas…Week of Ñews: AZ showdown, FLA follies, CT jerk, MX mischief
(PNS reporting from NEAR THE BORDER) Campaign aides at Gov. Mitt Romney’s headquarters at a palatial goat rancho here have just released the candidate’s first campaign poster. Romney released his first English-subtitled Spanish-language commercial last week.
“The Most Mexican Man In The World,” @MexicanMitt is pictured enjoying the glamorous lifestyle of a “Baindido” of the money industry, or the “cash cartel,” as he likes to call it.
Romney is shown posed in his campaign garb – looking over his vast land holdings – as a herd of chivos frolics in the corral.
His juanderful campaign slogan, “I AM THE JUAN PERCENT” is winning over many converts to his jihad against taxes on the uber-super-maxi-rich.
Mas…Breaking Ñews: @MexicanMitt releases first campaign poster
This image is about to get printed for a rally in Florida!
(PNS reporting from the CAYMAN ISLANDS) Addressing complaints from English-speaking voters that his new Spanish-language Nosotros TV commercial was Greek to them, Gov. Mitt Romney’s campaign today released a subtitled version of the ad, available here for the first time as a POCHO exclusive video.
(PNS reporting from DIXIE) The Latino Labor Association and Limpiadores Alliance today announced they are backing former Mass. Gov. Mitt Romney in advance of Saturday’s South Carolina GOP primary vote.
LALALA president Ed “Big Tiny” Calvados said Romney offers the best hope for Hispanics to achieve the American dream of fame, fortune and greed.
“The choice is obvious,” he said. “Gingrich wants to take our food stamps and ghetto language, Santorum’s trickle-down stinks and Rick Perry’s Tejano tushie will get spanked in the general election.”
“Mitt walks the walk. Take his position on jobs,” he said. “Mitt has eight houses, and if you figure a gardener and a housekeeper in each, that’s almost a dozen and a half gente off the welfare rolls and onto the payroll.”
(PNS reporting from CYBER ESPACE) Like virtual huitlacoche growing on a diseased ear of GOP political corn, an avatar of candidate Mitt Romney emerged on Twitter Wednesday, a digital fungus thriving on the stinking mess of Tuesday’s New Hampshire primary.
Using the handle @MexicanMitt, the campaign’s online Hispanic personality exalts Romney as a canny opportunist, occasionally-job-killing corporate turnaround guru and proud-to-be-loaded capitalist examplar. MexicanMitt now has 1,100 followers.
Pocho Ñews Service interviewed @MexicanMitt via email:
PNS: You seem to love enforcing immigration policies. How many of your own Mexican family members have you deported?
MexicanMitt: I keep deporting them back after they finish working for me selling oranges. So I don’t think of it as deporting them, more like firing them
Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney is live on Twitter: I am in it to guin it!
(PNS reporting from THE HEARTLAND, USA) Thousands of Iowanians are fighting their way across the wind-blown plains today to perform the traditional Republican caucus ritual. Sioux City City College PoliSci Professor Rico Alvarado explains the Ceremony of the Caucus this way:
First, the gabachos make a 4WD posada to the high school gym for the ritual gathering. There, by standing and waving, they compete for a majority of the donuts and coffee. The Caucus Ceremony must end before the Big Tornado Siren heralds the start of the Iowanian New Year.
We photographed six citizens and asked them to evaluate the political process and the contenders. Here they are and here’s what they said: