rubio

Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire

by

newhampshiredonkeyhoteyDonald Trump’s and Bernie Sanders’ stunning victories Tuesday don’t make sense unless you know the hidden history of the state of New Hampshire.

That’s the reason we researched and compiled the Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire:

8. New HAMpshire is known for its “HAM aroma” which inspired the hit song My Sharona

7. Coincidence or conspiracy? The ham-smelling state’s namesake [old] Hampshire, on England’s southern coast across the channel from France, smells like CHEESE

6. New Hampshire is very white. How white is it? New Hampshire is so white it makes the OSCARS look like a #BlackLivesMatter rally

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire

Breaking: Immigration plan includes MIGRA clone army

by

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The “Gang of Eight” immigration reform plan revealed yesterday mandates a Border Patrol Agent Clone Army, according to details released by Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL.)

“Two hundred thousand clones are immediately available for deployment on the border” when the bill passes, a jubilant Rubio said at a Capitol Hill press conference this morning. “The minute Obama signs the bill, we’ll send in the clones!”

Mas…Breaking: Immigration plan includes MIGRA clone army

From the ‘new’ GOP: Pocho Ocho things we shouldn’t say to Latinos

by

GOP leaders are undergoing sensitivity training as they re-evaluate immigration reform. Too often, insiders say, Republicans’ choice of words has hidden their true love for Latinos.

“Tone and rhetoric will be key,” is the message from Jennifer Korn, executive director of the Hispanic Leadership Network.  Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FLA), who chairs the GOP’s Vendido Caucus, champions “a kinder, gentler racism.”

Top Republicans will receive a list of phrases that should never, ever be used when discussing immigration reform. Here are the pocho ocho things NEVER to say:

8. Git’ back in your beaner-mobile!
7. Speak inglish you ‘ignant brownie.
6. We ain’t need no anchor babies.

Mas…From the ‘new’ GOP: Pocho Ocho things we shouldn’t say to Latinos

Got CLAP? (Press release: Conservative Latino Alliance for Prosperity)

by
Join us, wan't you?

[FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE JUNE 1, 2012] C.L.A.P. (Conservative Latino Alliance for Prosperity) is holding its Annual Membership Drive throughout the month of June.

C.L.A.P., founded in 1912, is the oldest conservative Latino organization in the nation. For 100 years, we’ve worked tirelessly to return the country to core conservative principles.

These are our guiding principles:

Pillar 1: Immigration

Fact: Rare baseball cards, comics, and stamps increase in value the scarcer they become. With over 50 million Latinos in the U.S., our value to this country has become more and more diluted . As a result, C.L.A.P. aims to deport all Latinos (regardless of residency status) until four or five very valuable Latinos remain. There is power in numbers – very, very small numbers.

Mas…Got CLAP? (Press release: Conservative Latino Alliance for Prosperity)

And you may ask yourself ‘How did I get here?’

by


People come to POCHO for unexpected reasons, or at least reasons we never expected. Did they see a link on Facebook (most of our traffic starts there)? Did they get a link in email? Did they see something on Twitter? Did they search with Google? Did a link on another site lead to POCHO?

We like it best when PNS Pocho Ñews Service stories snare the unwary — it’s like we have passed the “truthiness” sniff test and our faux news seems real enough to make people believe.

We get thousands of visitors looking for a certain fictitious Vegas casino, pit bull owners concerned about their breed’s reputation and gossip-lovers seeking the latest news about Eve Mendes.

Do these random visitors know where they ended up?

Mas…And you may ask yourself ‘How did I get here?’

Pocho Ocho ways the candidates are scheming to get the Latino vote

by

8. Gastronamía

Going after the gastronomic vote, Dems and Repubs plan to offer Latino voters free tacos and salsa at the polls (all tacos made by immigrant labor.) Mitt Romney has even changed his tune about cheesy grits, now heralding cold maduros as his favorite breakfast.

7. Stereotypical Shows

Both parties are promising to fund and sponsor television programs about Latinos including shows about sexy maids, deep-thinking gardeners and homesick homeboys. Obama made his weekly address with the addition of two scantly clad Latina hotties by his side and a little person dressed as a sunflower. Romney is more timid in matters of sexuality but did allow a three-second shot of his butt to air in one of his campaign ads (for las viejitas.)

Mas…Pocho Ocho ways the candidates are scheming to get the Latino vote