Now it’s easy to learn the very same pinches palabras that all the chingonas say — con Maestra Salma Hayek. No mames! [NSFW words en ingles y en español tambien.]
PREVIOUSLY ON SALMA HAYEK:
Mas…NO MAMES! Mexican slang with Profe. Salma Hayek (NSFW video)
What will it be? A home-made “Mexican hamburger” or a ride to Burger Boy in Salma Hayek’s convertible for hamburguesas? We embed, you decide.
Cook a burger:
Mas…Cook a hamburguesa or go get one with Salma Hayek? (videos)
We don’t have everyone’s bra sizes, just the ones we could scrape from BraSizeHunter.com, your Interwebz source for celebrity bra sizes.
Let’s start with the site’s writeup of Brazilian-born Victoria’s Secret supermodel Adriana Lima (photo, above):
…Adriana Lima bra size is obviously one of the most important measures for a model of this type. Adrianna Lima bra size is a perfect 32D, however, there are many speculations if the size is natural. Based on the photos of multiple shoots during her career, the change was quite evident in Adriana Lima bra size, however, the super model claims that her bust is completely natural. Adriana Lima enjoys continuous attention from her fans and keeps receiving massive paychecks for the work that she does.
THE LAST KNOWN ADRIANA LIMA BRA SIZE IS: 32B
Mas…Pretty short list of Latina celebrities’ bra sizes (photos)
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you feel a little Mexican. Am I right, people? ¡Orale! Let’s hear it out there! Give it up for the Mexicans! You, Pedro wearing the Pendleton, put down the filero before you applaud. OK. No offense, ese. Just sayin’.
Everybody feels Mexican in this this goofy 1987 commercial from the “casual dining” chain Chi-Chi’s — including the popo!
The outfit closed in this country in ten years ago but will forever be remembered for the invention of the word “salsification.”
PREVIOUSLY ON MEXICAN FOOD COMMERCIALS:
Mas…Sometimes you feel a little … Mexican @ Chi-Chi’s (video)
Dave Letterman sure knows how to bring out the best in a girl!
Will this new patriotic video become more popular on POCHO than this musical BurgerBoy hamburguesas commercial Hayek did when she was young and needed the money?
Mas…Chest bursting in air, Salma Hayek sings national anthem (video)
We know. It’s tough out there with the idiots and pendejos who are voting for the wrong person. What’s a pocho to do to keep from going totally postal before it’s all over (we hope) tonight?
Here are the Pocho Ocho best ways to chillax:
8. Salma Hayek
7. Fifty Shades of Brown
6. Arpaio Viejo Tequila
The political conventions are finally over and the poll results are in: Latinos don’t really care.
How can this be!? The Democrats saw the GOP’s Rubio and raised them two Castros!
To help our political friends understand, here are the Pocho Ocho reasons Latino voters were not turned on by the conventions:
8. No piñatas crafted in the opponent’s likeness.
7. No sophisticated flamenco dance numbers performed by kindergarteners.
6. No midgets.
Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons Latinos weren’t turned on by political conventions
[Editor’s Note: With all the attention Salma Hayek’s been getting about pride in her Mexican heritage or lack thereof, POCHO wants to put things in perspective. This story first appeared on June 4.]
(PNS reporting from GENEVA) The U.N.’s Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) has added Salma Hayek’s breasts to the official list of the world’s greatest cultural assets.
Joining the Pyramids in Egypt, the Eiffel Tower in France, the Taj Mahal in India and the Great Wall of China, the Mexican-American actresses’ ample bosom is now acclaimed as one of the great “Cultural Wonders of the World.”
Mas…Perspective: UN adds Salma Hayek’s breasts to world heritage list
POCHO primos Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz and Migrant Editor Al Madrigal chop, channel and lower the ñews:
— Produced by Jefe de Creative Marcelo Ziperovich. (NSFW language.)
(PNS reporting from GENEVA) The U.N.’s Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) has added Salma Hayek’s breasts to the official list of the world’s greatest cultural assets.
Joining the Pyramids in Egypt, the Eiffel Tower in France, the Taj Mahal in India and the Great Wall of China, the Mexican-American actresses’ ample bosom is now acclaimed as one of the great “Cultural Wonders of the World.”
According to UNESCO, Hayek’s bodacious tatas give untold numbers of young (and old) men around the world a “sense of identity and continuity” that promotes “respect for cultural diversity and human creativity.”
Committee Chair Dr. André Moreau noted that Hayek’s contributions to Hollywood films of the 1990s in which you can almost see her breasts and charity work that requires her to dress up her choice chi-chis in expensive gowns have both been pivotal to the American male psyche.
Mas…UNESCO adds Salma Hayek’s breasts to world heritage list
POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal (he commutes coast-to-coast so he can work nights as Senior Latino Correspondent for The Daily Show) went to Tucson AZ to find out why students there aren’t allowed to take classes in Mexican-American history.
Cameras running, Al interviewed a school board official who was apparently high on ignorance, stupidity and hate.
These are the POCHO stories that broke the ñews this week:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Tucson school board’s exercise in ignorance and hate
Don’t judge! She was young and she needed the money. Salma Hayek stars in a musical commercial for the now-defunct Mexican fast food chain BurgerBoy.
