sb1070

How many generations until Latinos become ‘Americans’?

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I consider myself Latina, close to my family’s Mexican culture; I’m bilingual and I’m happy with that identity. But, more often than not, it seems like everyone else is trying to corral me into some other identity, telling me that mine is not sufficient.

The neighborhood where I live (photos, above) is a perfect example.

It’s split in two: one part of it is gentrifying rapidly, and the other is filled with Mexican and many immigrant families. I where it’s more Mexican, which makes me — in all my professional hipster-ness — stand out sometimes, but people still speak to me in Spanish and often I just become part of the scenery. But then there are other times.

Mas…How many generations until Latinos become ‘Americans’?

Gov. Jan Brewer and Arizona’s asinus aspirations aplenty

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Despite the clamoring of dozens of its citizens, officials recently turned back the equus asinus aspirations of a donkey as candidate for a seat in the Ecuadorean National Assembly.

Regrettably, the canny citizens of Guayaquil, Ecuador were denied their electoral ends — to register a donkey aptly named “Mr. Donkey” to run for the national legislature.

But I have a new suggestion for “Mr. Donkey.” Perhaps, “Mr. Donkey” should move to Arizona, “The Meth Lab of Democracy” – but of course, only after all his immigration papers are properly in order.

Here, he may yet thwart the ambitions of Arizona’s current Gov. Jan Brewer (photo, right) who, unconstitutionally speaking, contemplates a possible third term.

The governor is undoubtedly unfulfilled and unsatisfied thus far with her gubernatorial benefactions to the state. There’s more to be done notwithstanding Arizona’s damaged reputation or that along with Nevada, Arizona stands at the pole position of America’s “Dumbest States.”

Mas…Gov. Jan Brewer and Arizona’s asinus aspirations aplenty

Have you seen her? Search for LOST GOV takes it to the streets (photo)*

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Concerned Americans across this great nation covered telephone poles with flyers today as the search for missing Gov. Jan Brewer (R-AZ) galvanized the citizenry.

Have you seen a flyer in your neighborhood? Have you spotted Brewer? Email a photo to info@pocho.com and we’ll get it online ASAP. Need a flyer to print and post yourself? The large-size printable flyers are here: LOST GOV Please print and share!

*UPDATED: Concerned citizen David W in Oregon posted and photographed the flyer in his neighborhood:

Mas…Have you seen her? Search for LOST GOV takes it to the streets (photo)*

Where in the &*+@# is Jan Brewer? The Pocho Ocho places…

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Arizona Governor Jan Brewer is MISSING. Before you uncork the champagne, and before she comes back from her one-week vanishing, here’s the Pocho Ocho places Jan Brewer COULD BE:

8. At the Rawlings factory getting her skin re-laced

7. In Georgia filming the lead zombie role in “Walking Dead”

6. At a private correctional prison junket to Alcatraz

Mas…Where in the &*+@# is Jan Brewer? The Pocho Ocho places…

To: sw6n-34kd31fa8@dcjobs.craigslist.org  Re: GOP Latino Wrangler

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Dear Party of Lincoln:
I am very interested in the Latino Wrangler opening at the Republican National Committee you advertised on CraigsList.

My wife is half Mexican, my son is one-quarter Mexican and I have been to Mexico four times for cheap lobster, not that anyone's ethnicity would be used as a qualification for this job. I'm white, of course.

Mas...To: sw6n-34kd31fa8@dcjobs.craigslist.org  Re: GOP Latino Wrangler

CA’s Jerry Brown vetoes ‘Trust Act,’ AZ’s Jan Brewer approves

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(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer has deemed California Gov. Jerry Brown an honorary citizen following his veto of the Golden State’s Trust Act which would have ended deportation of undocumented immigrants busted for minor offenses.

¡AltoArizona! reports:

Jan Brewer, Arizona’s governor notorious for her signing of the state’s racial profiling bill, SB1070, issued Brown honorary residence in her state. “Anyone who can manage to deny basic protections to domestic workers, farm workers, and entire immigrant families, all in one night, is bound to need some friends,” explained Brewer. “I want him to know, Jerr, you’ve got a friend in me.”

Mas…CA’s Jerry Brown vetoes ‘Trust Act,’ AZ’s Jan Brewer approves

Hey SB1070 loser Russell Pearce, karma’s a bitch…

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Our homies at NBC Latino are reporting that Aryanzona SB1070 creator and sloppy sack of sadness Russell Pearce has lost what is hopefully his final political campaign. We at POCHO are celebrating and gloating that this racist pendejo has been taken out by a fellow Republican.

Hopefully he can join bag o’ drunken bones AZ Governor Jan Brewer at her rest home soon, and they can complain together about their Mexican adult care attendants.

See ya, don’t let Arizona hit you on the ass!

Jan Brewja: Save time, hassle with the Self-Deportation Station (video)

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All real Arizonans know it’s a pain in the AZ to racially-profile, harass, arrest and then deport people who look different from you! That’s why Gov. Jan Brewer is pleased to announce her automagic, high-tech, made-in-America, job-creating final solution for all those damn Mexicans.

Inspired by pioneering self-deportationist Daniel D. Portado, Brewja is introducing nifty new Self-Deportation Stations that make racism look quick, easy and clean.

  • Craving more news from The Hate State of Arizona? Click here!

Louis CK: ‘I came to America as a little Mexican boy’ (video)

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As Seen on Conan: Comedian Louis CK was in Arizona (of course — where else?) when his driver started spewing some racist crap…

[Editor’s Note: Oh my! It looks like this video, which dates from January, is suddenly not kosher. Who knew? Our apologies to those of you who tuned in late. And to the thousands who did get to see it on POCHO before Big Brother came around — that was some funny stuff, eh?]

AZ Gov. Jan Brewja OKs curbs on undocumented youth, apples, twigs

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Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer (photo, right) has signed an executive order directing state agencies to deny driver’s licenses and other public benefits to young undocumented immigrants who obtain work authorizations under the new Obama administration Deferred Action program.

She also signed executive orders dealing with undocumented children and other matters:

Fluffy Gabriel Iglesias caught Driving While Brown in Arizona

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Chicano comic Gabriel Iglesias found out first hand what it’s like to be caught Driving While Brown in Arizona.

Iglesias, who is currently on tour, was pulled over between Yuma and Phoenix in his giant tour bus (that bears his likeness and name), and his entire crew was subjected to a “papers please” search.

Iglesias said after the incident that he has “madd love” for Arizona but might paint his tour bus with Larry the Cable Guy next time around.

Click all the way through to see Gabriel’s own quote!

By way of the mas chingon Three Sonorans blog!

Pocho Ocho suggested names for new Nogales MIGRA robot

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He’s artificially intelligent, muy guapo with dark hair and blue eyes, plus he speaks and understands Spanish and English. He also has a new, high-profile job with Tio Sam’s U.S. Customs and Border Protection Service interviewing people crossing into Los United Estates at Nogales, AZ (photo, above.)

What’s he missing aside from a body and an analog existence? This poor robovato needs a name; right now his bosses just refer to him as the AVATAR (Automated Virtual Agent for Truth Assessments in Real-Time.)

Here are the Pocho Ocho names we like best:

8. Mex Headroom
7. C3 Pito
6. Will Robinson

Mas…Pocho Ocho suggested names for new Nogales MIGRA robot

Small Georgia town bans sale, use of ‘illegal alien paraphernalia’

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(PNS reporting from DIXIE) The City of Morrow, GA voted yesterday to ban “illegal alien paraphernalia.”

City Ordinance 187 — the so-called Press A Tortilla Go to Jail law — is a response to the Supreme Court’s ruling that Arizona  SB 1070 was mostly unconstitutional.

The small town (population 4882) banned the sale and use within the city limits of:

“Illegal alien paraphernalia including, but not limited to

  • batas,
  • molcajetes,
  • tortilla presses,
  • international calling cards,
  • Mexican Coca-Cola and
  • Mexican soccer team accessories.”

The news wasn’t well received among Morrow’s small Hispanic community.

Five-year Morrow resident and Mexico native José Luis Gallegos said, “Qué se vayan a la chingada,” roughly translated as, “This is a heinous law.”

Mas…Small Georgia town bans sale, use of ‘illegal alien paraphernalia’

Happy July 4, fashionistas! May I see your papers, please?

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(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) For fashionistas, this July 4 holiday season is less about parades and barbecues and more about flashing your passport, if you have one.

The new patriotic papers fashion flair follows the Supreme Court’s recent decision to uphold the “show me your papers” provisions of SB1070.

And now everybody wants those papers.

After the SCOTUS decision, the State Department’s passport website experienced the highest volume of traffic since Sarah Palin became the Republican Party’s nominee for Vice President in 2008.

Mas…Happy July 4, fashionistas! May I see your papers, please?

Ñewsweek: SCOTUS, SB1070, AZ, Obamacare and Mexican Mitt

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GOP nominee wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney led off the chorus of this week’s reactioneers after the SCOTUS decisions on SB1070 and Obamacare. “We need to implement Labambacare for all Hispanics pronto!” he wrote in a special guest editorial.

Some Arizonans like the SB1070 decision — we have their reactions — but Chicago Congressman Luis Gutierrez ripped the decision to shreds on the floor of the House of Representatives — and we have  the video.

Lots of ñews this past week on POCHO;  here are our top stories:

Mas…Ñewsweek: SCOTUS, SB1070, AZ, Obamacare and Mexican Mitt

Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull, wicked witch of the Southwest (toon)

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Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull (aka Jan Brewer) Just thought I’d draw something for POCHO regarding the SB1070 ruling for this Fourth of July weekend. As a Chicano comic book nerd and artist, this is the best way for me to strike back against the Wicked Witch of the Southwest.

Gabriel Tellez Jr. is the vato behind The Misadventures of Pepito and Juan, serialized this Spring on POCHO.

You too can be telepathic like Arizona SB1070-lovin’ cops! (video)

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Rep. Luis Gutierrez, a Democratic congressman from Chicago, steps up to the lectern in the United States House of Representatives and teaches all of America how to be “telepathic” like the Arizona cops and politicians who somehow know – without racial profiling – who is undocumented and who is not.

A must-see video for Justin Bieber fans! In my opinion, the Honorable Representative can have a second career at The Daily Show.

Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling

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Some Arizonans were elated that the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that one key part of SB1070 is constitutional at the same time three other portions were overturned in today’s 5-3 opinion.

The part ruled constitutional requires an officer to make a reasonable attempt to determine the immigration status of a person stopped, detained or arrested if there’s reasonable suspicion that person is in the country illegally. Anything from sombreros to brown skin may allow police to inquire about one’s immigration status.

Reactions from a random sampling of Arizonans were positive and optimistic.

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer’s bony-ass mummy finger was held high in the air upon hearing of the mixed decision: “We Kept ONE! We Kept ONE!” The aged papyrus-skinned governor declared victory: “The Supremes voided much of SB1070 but let us keep my favorite part– profiling those smooth-skinned Mexicans.”

Mas…Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling

Driving While Brown? Try ‘Arizona-me’ (SB1070 NSFW video) *UPDATED

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UPDATED JUNE 25: Now that the Supreme Court says it’s OK for Arizona’s cops to continue their demands for “papers,” this advice video for folks contemplating a drive through the Hate State of Arizona is even more critical. From Familia del Barrio. Watch and learn!

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(MARCH 24) The U.S. Supreme Court today hears the appeal from proponents of the racist Arizona SB1070 law, which legalized racial profiling in the Hate State. Long before this vile measure was challenged by legal experts, it was spoofed by in the Mexican cartoon series Familia del Barrio.

Their animated episode Arizona-me details how the cartoon family wanted to cope with this foul attack on immigrants. Click the [CC] button for English closed captions. (NSFW language Spanish and English.)

And look below to see how their fans coped. 

Mas…Driving While Brown? Try ‘Arizona-me’ (SB1070 NSFW video) *UPDATED

Ñewsweek: Abuelita and the ticking baby clock, no cholo too loco

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When a cholo goes bad, call The Cholo Whisperer

She needed help — a woman approaching 40 who wanted  kids but had no realistic baby daddy in sight.  Thankfully, she decided to write Dear Abuelita for advice, who gave her way more guidance than she was expecting.

And in a very special video about Cholo Rescue Services, the gentle strength of The Cholo Whisperer turns a misbehaving cholo loco into a warm companion everyone loves.

These were the stories breaking the ñews on POCHO this week:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Abuelita and the ticking baby clock, no cholo too loco