By DANIEL A. OLIVAS
Listen to me. I’m not feeling very patient right now and you seem to be thinking about being somewhere else. But listen to me. Look over there. No, not there. There. See? See him? Yeah. His name is Marco. He has a wife, Octavia, and two sons in this pueblo just outside of Guadalajara.
She’s up at 5:45 in the morning to make her kids and husband breakfast and lunch for the day; waiting to make her own meals last. She pulls out the tortillas fresh off the comal because she doesn’t believe in store bought shit. She’s authentic, raw and loyal to her traditions. She slips into her outfit and watches a little bit of the news as she waits for her ride, even though she can’t quite understand what the news lady is saying in English. Someone honks outside and she grabs her bags, jacket and rushes out the door. She fights her tired eyes on the car ride for the next forty-five minutes and instead pretends to be interested in what her co-worker/companion has to say. What are the latest chismes? “Cindi from work left her husband and child. She ran off with another man and they say that guy is three times her age and we are all sure Cindi is only in it for the papeles….”
As POCHO amigo Gustavo Arellano noted Friday, Chipotle Mexican Grill pulled a boner when it decided to put short stories from ten famous authors on its cups and bags but couldn’t find one Latino with words worthy enough to wrap its burritos.
There’s now a Facebook book group organizing around this issue and the Pochodores have been brainstorming inspirational packaging ideas as well.
First off all, short stories? Srsly? TL;DR, amiright?
Here are the Pocho Ocho more upworthy Latino quotes Chipotle should have used:
8. There’s a reason you separate the military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people. (Commander William Adama.)
7. Repression….Recession. It’s all the same thing, man. (Cheech Marin.)
6. In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face some day. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous guy who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo. (Lucky Day.)
Mas…Pocho Ocho upworthy Latino quotes Chipotle should have used
I knew that I was in a heap of trouble when the mechanics showed up in a big old beat-up four-wheel-drive mud-covered truck with a hand-painted sign on the doors that read Cooter’s Roadside Auto Repair.
These fellas sat in their truck a little too long — staring at me — before they got out to reveal they were dressed in camouflage hunting outfits from head to toe. Their caps were camo as well, except for the Confederate flag emblem on the front. Their clothes were covered in dirt, grease, and what looked like blood stains, the same stains they had on their faces.
I was on my way back to Austin, TX from the East Coast. I had gone to do some remodeling work on my rich sister’s vacation home on Chesapeake Bay and was happy to be coming home with a little extra cash, around three grand, in my pocket.
Then, as luck would have it, or as my dad would say, all the good shit just turned to crap.
Mas…Letter to the Editor: How Cooter and son welcomed me to Alabama