“There are some words, not many, just a few — that we decided, we won’t use them all the time,” said the late comedian George Carlin in his famous routine about the “seven dirty words.” If you aren’t familiar with it –– the skit tries to pinpoint a definitive list of words you can never say on radio and television [See NSFW video below.]
Mas…Felipe Esparza: The Seven Spanish Cuss Words (LatinoUSA audio)
Pocha Anjelah Johnson from San Jose (408 shout-out!) may not speak Spanish, but she doesn’t speak Puerto Rican either. [This video was one of our most popular and then got yanked from YouTube. We just found this alternate version online, apparently video’d right off someone’s TV.]
Over at LatinoRebels.com, Bella Vida Letty says Anjelah’s new video has her performing in “brown face.”
Here’s the video she objects to. What do you think?
Mas…Anjelah Johnson: No, sorry, I don’t speak Puerto Rican (4 videos)
Ever have an awkward moment when you have to pretend to be an Anglo at the taqueria because you don’t speak Spanish? Alfonso “White Boy Mexican” Ochoa reports.
Me llamo el Señor Chang y seré su profesor de español en este semestre.
(PNS reporting from NORMAL, ILL) Demographers at Pocho Asian American Policy Institute (PAAPI) here have just released a new map detailing the most common Asian languages spoken in the U.S., broken out on a state by state basis, in English and Spanish. [Click on image to enlarge.]
Mas…Breaking Ñews: Map shows common Asian languages by state
Mystery of the ages! You won’t believe what this actress and flamenco guitarist said! The one weird phrase that turned a Spanish ingenue into a superstar! I never expected I’d react like this when watching a video from Oprah! When this blonde chica began playing, the audience gasped!
Charo fans: You know you’ve been waiting for this. Was it worth the wait?
Mas…Shameless! Charo finally reveals the meaning of ‘Cuchi-Cuchi’ (videos)
Slate’s infographic mapping magic illustrates what we knew already — across most of the United Estates, Spanish is almost always the most commonly-spoken language besides English.
But after English and Spanish, what’s Numero Tres? Here in California, it’s Tagalog, first language of a quarter of all Filipinos and the second language of most. Pinoys, ruled by both Spain and the U.S., are the honorary (?) Latinos of Asia.
Tagalog? If you’ve got cooties, or play with a yo-yo, or live in the boondocks, you’re speaking Tagalog.
There are also unexpected results in Texas and Florida and New York and Illinois and…. Here’s the spoken language third place map:
Mas…Shoutout to the Pinoys and Yo-Yos of Califas: You’re #3 (infographic)
| ESPANOL: La India María debe encontrar a toda costa en lo recóndito de una montaña, El Mágico Espejo Negro de Tezcatlipoca, pues el espíritu de su bisabuelo Moctezuma Xocoyotzin así lo ha ordenado para evitar la destrucción de México.
Alonso, un atractivo arqueólogo español, Bianchi, un tramposo busca-tesoros y Brígida Troncoso — una ambiciosa gobernadora, se enteran de la existencia del dichoso Espejo, del misterioso Tesoro de Moctezuma y de la tal María, por lo que todos emprenden una frenética persecución detrás de ella para apoderarse del cristal mágico y del oro. |
ENGLISH: La India María (born María Nicolasa Cruz) must find, at all costs, hidden away in a big mountain, The Magic Black Mirror of Tezcatlipoca. She’s on a mission ordered by the spirit of her great grandfather Moctezuma Xocoyotzin,and she must succeed to stop the destruction of all Mexico.
Alonso, an attractive Spanish architect, Bianchi, a crazy treasure hunter and Brígida Troncoso, an ambitious governor, all find out about the existence of the Mirror, the mysterious Treasure of Moctezuma and María, which is why everyone pursues her to try to take away the magical crystal and gold. |
Enjoy the Internacional, the world-wide (Get it? It’s international!) anthem of those red commie cabrones in Cuba and Venezuela and China and North Korea (and lurking in secretive cells everywhere else but the lame stream media sheeple won’t tell you that.)
May 1 is May Day AKA International Workers’ Day. Today the communist comrades sing this stirring appeal, with its hummable melody and a vague vision of a better future that’s hard to disagree with, except maybe the LUCHA FINAL aspect.
Yet even as they sing this Kommie Kumbaya, the Marxist minions are locking millions up arbitrarily, invading foreign countries, spying on their fellow citizens and — we’ve read reports — killing innocent civilians by remote control. Oh, wait.
THE INTERNATIONALE LYRICS IN ENGLISH AND SPANISH:
Mas…Happy May Day from the Workers of the World (music video, lyrics)
(PNS reporting from RANCHO POCHO ESTATES) In a shocking file uploaded to the Internets last week, a mom in suburban Southern California has been captured on video feeding her baby hot salsa in a baby bottle in order to pay for her husband’s “picante burger” habit.
In the video, a spicy burger pusher known only as “Jack” — his true identity hidden by a grotesque disguise — rings the family’s doorbell and pretends to be religious missionary so the neighbors don’t suspect. “Do you have three minutes to talk about spicy hamburgers?” he asks burger-junkie Juan Desperado, who opens the door.
“I have some something here I think you’ll like,” the pusher says.
That awkward moment when you turn into an elephant. I hate when that happens! [Spanish with English captions.]
Fifty years ago tonight, pop music was reborn when four lads from Liverpool astounded America with their debut performance on the Ed Sullivan Show. They write their own songs, you say? They play their own instruments? They sing, too? In the era of Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello and manufactured “teen entertainment,” the Beatles were revolutionary. In this fan-dub video, the lovable Mop Tops sing a (deservedly obscure?) Spanish version of And I Love Her.
Los Beatles weren’t universally popular, however. The band’s debut was “appallingly unmusical” and “destined to fade away,” critics wrote.
Brandon Calvillo tells his friend David Lopez that he, Brandon, is half Mexican. Lopez, it seems, is not all that pumped.
[Remember, with these Vine videos, you need to hover and click on the top left corner of the graphic to hear the audio.]
PREVIOUSLY ON VINE VIDEOS:
Sunday’s Coca Cola’s Super Bowl commercial spotlighting America the Beautiful (sung in the languages of immigrants who built and continue to build our country) predictably pissed off the Internet haters who have been waiting to dis little patriotic kids since Sebastien de la Cruz sang The Star-Spangled Banner at last year’s NBA finals.
Didn’t see it? Not pissed off enough? Some people love America in Arabic:
Mas…‘America the Beautiful’ in Spanish pisses off the haters (videos)
The late Pete Seeger always got everyone in the audience to sing along for Guantanamera — in Spanish. (Editor’s Note: That’s why they call it folk music. It’s music you sing, not just music you hear.)
Seeger [‘s] intention [was] that [Guantanamera] be used by the peace movement at the time of the Cuban missile crisis. He urged that people sing the song as a symbol of unity between the American and Cuban peoples, and called for it to be sung in Spanish to “hasten the day [that] the USA… is some sort of bilingual country.”
RIP.
To be a Chipster (Chicano + Hipster) is not a destination, but a journey, and seekers must never rest. These are the Pocho Ocho Chipster New Year’s Resolutions our readers shared with us:
8. Despite the Indio heritage that gives me a sparse Fu Manchu facial hair configuration, I resolve to grow a Chente-strength bigote in 2014.
7. Nopalitos every day keeps the doctor away.
6. Repeat after me: Tenochtitlan, not panocha flan.
Mas…Survey says? Pocho Ocho top Chipster New Year’s Resolutions
The tilde — don’t leave home without it! Please share!
PREVIOUSLY ON HOLIDAY CULTURE ALERTS:
Mas…¡Wachale! POCHO Public Service New Year 2014 Punctuation Alert
WTF? It’s an old answering machine — a gift from Mom — with a disturbing voicemail message from Abuelita. What to do? [NSFW adult language en Espanish.]
¡Peligro! ¡Bigote! From two years ago, photographer and location unknown, found on Imgur
PREVIOUSLY ON BIGOTE/MUSTACHE:
Mas…Construction Zone: Must wear hard hat and mustache (photo)
Student film? Bad Accent Video Theatre? Whatever! El Amor de Mi Amante is mini-telenovela brought to you by Taco Bell and this year’s hottest new fragrance — Twist!
PREVIOUSLY ON BAD SPANISH ACCENT VIDEO THEATRE:
Mas…Bad Accent Video Theatre: ‘El Amor de Mi Amante’ (My Lover’s Love)
When Hell is full, the dead will walk the earth — ¡Los Walking Dead! — on Univsion!
Bern, Switzerland band Pizza Prostata wishes a good afternoon to Innuendo.. The band, aside from using random Spanish words as lyrics, specializes in “great songs, badly played, but with passion.“
Ai, yai, yai yai! The late great Tex-Mex music superstar Freddy Fender has his way with the 1882 ranchera classic Cielito Lindo. But do you know the words? ¡Ajua!
Here are the lyrics via Wikipedia:
Mas…Freddy Fender Hispanic Heritage Music Video: ‘Cielito Lindo’
*UPDATED WITH (POTENTIALLY NSFW) VIDEO 4:40 PM PDT Sept. 19, 2013:
Tired of jacking cars? Committed enough crimes for today? Come on home, sit on the couch, spark a blunt and learn everyday Spanish with Paco the Taco, new on Grand Theft Auto 5 TV.
WTF? Your cable company doesn’t carry GTA5? Huh? You have a Glock, don’t do you? This is Los Santos, holmes.
Take a look at these exclusive screen grabs to see how Paco the Taco makes learning Espanol easy AND fun!
(PNS reporting from TUCSON) The Tucson Independent School District’s high school history classes will drop all references to Spanish conquistadores when discussing the history of North America before English pilgrims came to the U.S.
Instead, the district’s teachers will focus on more “American” historical figures, such as Englishman John Smith, School Board Chair Kyle Brown told a meeting of the group Tuesday evening.
“Arizona is part of America, and so we don’t want to give our kids any ideas about America being Spanish, or associated with illegal Spaniards,” Brown explained.
Mas…Arizona schools remove ‘illegal Spaniards’ from high school curriculum
(PNS reporting from UPTON ABBEY, MI) Frater Cassius the Yon was adamant.
“In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti,” he insisted in a rare English-language interview Sunday. “There is no such thing as Latin dancing, unless you mean the “dance of death” from the Black Plague. And Latin music is Gregorian chants, Enya and Necrodeath. Ain’t nobody got no time for that! Tempus fugit!”
Mas…Breaking: Marketing to Latins? Talk Latin to us, activists say
Elysium star Diego Luna gives late-night host Conan O’Brien un poco de ayuda. No mames!
Do ju know how to talk like a Mexican? Watch thees video by voice and speech coach Andrea Caban and ju will learn how to speak Mexican. Ju know?
PREVIOUSLY ON TALK LIKE A MEXICAN:
With Salvadorans about to outnumber Cubans in America, it’s time to learn all we can about our new neighbors. From the land of pupusas comes this video which may help you get to know Salvadorans a little better. The Salvadoran world view runs from burros to putas to negros to picsa and, don’t forget, psh psh! [Video by Jaysityo!]
“You can’t force me to learn a foreign language on American soil,” high school sophomore Kyle Johnson said. “Spanish sucks! I’m American and I speak American!” And he went to court to fight for his rights. (NSFW explicit language.)
(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) A local teen has decided to discard her slave name “María de la Paz Rodriguez Ramírez” and rename herself “Jennifer Lopez” after her Latina idol.
“I’m tired of being kept down by the man. My slave name ‘María de la Paz’ is clearly a name with Spanish roots and my family is originally from Mexico City, the former capital of the Aztec empire,” the 16-year-old Lamar High School junior said.
“I will no longer be kept down by my conquerers’ attempts to stifle my culture.”
Mas…Lamar High junior drops ‘slave name,’ renames self ‘Jennifer Lopez’