When you’ve got a lot left over, you need a big beautiful burrito! Jerry Springer reports.
thanksgiving
Pocho Ocho tips for a successful if not safe and sane Black Friday
It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPad. So as a public service we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to make your Black Friday quest successful, if not totally safe and sane:
8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.
7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.
6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.
Mas…Pocho Ocho tips for a successful if not safe and sane Black Friday
Happy T-Day from WKRP: ‘OMG I thought turkeys could fly!’ (video)
“I can see it now — the WKRP Holiday Helicopter is coming in low over Cincinnati!” Les Nessman reports.
Pocho Ñews Insight: Mal*Mart gives back to local communities (video)
This short educational video from Mal★Mart explains how the retail chain is a good neighbor, supporting local communities and creating jobs all across America — with a smile. The case study features Latina entrepreneur Maria Muñoz of Maria’s Flan.
Mas…Pocho Ñews Insight: Mal*Mart gives back to local communities (video)
Black Friday or ‘How I stabbed myself in the eye’
Hey, everybody! Here comes that most horrible days of days: Black Friday, or as I like to call it, stab-myself-in-the-eye-and-roll-under-a-bus day!
Black Friday makes me want to jump off a cliff into a pile of rusty knives. I can’t think of anything worse than waking up at the butt-crack of dawn to go shopping in a crowded mall full of deal-crazed screamy people while the smell of pretzel donuts fills the air and dance beats blast over the sound system.
Seriously, why are they always playing that horrible uplifting dance music? Are they trying to force me to be happy? Shopping is not Happy Time. I don’t want to do the sandbar shimmy while I try on pants, I want to feel awkward and inadequate like God intended.
William S. Burroughs: ‘Thanksgiving Prayer’ (NSFW video)
Beat icon, literary treasure, junkie, poet and provocateur William S. Burroughs offered this Thanksgiving Prayer in 1986. You don’t know Burroughs? His most famous book was Naked Lunch, and Wikipedia says he specialized in satire and “paranoid fiction.” (NSFW language.)
Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving
See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight things right here:
8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Fieri’s Tipi
Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Turkey al pastor tacos for Thanksgiving Day
Happy Mexican Thanksgiving Day!
Is Tia Lencha here. Gwhat is Mexican Thanksgiving Day you ask? Is Thanksgiving but with all Mexican food. What?!?! My gringo frends say. Oh no! How you can do that! Is crazy! And Tia Lencha say, no really.
When I help mijo with his homeworks, I learn that Thanksgiving come from a Puritan holiday in Englands. When it was the Reformation the Protestantes wanted to throw away all the Catholic holidays, even Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!
Gwell, I no happy with that. (I think the Indios here in this country oso no happy with the Puritans who bring disease and then take their land–I just saying.) Anyways, Thanksgiving oso is part of a festival of the harvest and for to celebrate special blessings. So to celebrate when the al pastor taco was invent and oso that the Mexican peoples were the first ones to make the turkey domesticate, I make the turkey al pastor taco.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Turkey al pastor tacos for Thanksgiving Day