You’ve tried a dozen different diets, you’ve exercised until you could barely walk, and yet the pounds and the inches stick around like bad karma or that weird kid Rob from ninth grade who stalks you on Facebook. What exactly is the secret to a perfect body? It’s simple: GENETICS™
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Dear Abuelita: Gay for a day, my 34C boobs, a career in modeling
Dear Abuelita,
I wear a 34C bra. My boyfriend is always scoping out girls with bigger boobs. Should I get implants?
Titi Caca
Dear Titi Caca,
Here’s what you need to do: Tell your boyfriend to look in the mirror the next time he wants to see a big boob then dump the pendejo. As for you, make yourself an appointment for a self-esteem implant ASAP. That’s all I have to say. I don’t have time to figure out the root of your insecurities. There are more important things to focus on than your pea-sized mosquito bites.
Do you have any idea how much trouble big chi-chis are? Let me tell you, they can be a real pain in the ass! I mean it, I once flung mine over my shoulders so hard the damned things left bruises on my nalgas.
Love, Your Abuelita
Mas…Dear Abuelita: Gay for a day, my 34C boobs, a career in modeling