Mas…La Cucaracha: Latino Cupid Hopes You Did the Right Thing
valentine’s day
Happy Valentime’s Day! Lessons in Love from Ramón Ayala
[A Tia Lencha and Aunt Lily Production]
Orale raza! How ju bean?
HAPPY VALENTIME’S DAY! TIA LENCHA IS BACK TO TALK ABOUT LUFF TO YOU POCHOS.
Have you heard songs by Ramón Ayala? He’s bigger than Chicano Batman and he knows all about luff. He talks to all of us who no have luck in luff. His songs teash us all about the lessons you learn when jur Corazon (thas heart for ju pochos) is not like the fairy tales on Valentimes Day.
Dis article is written by me, Tia Lencha, and my proper-English-speaking alter ego, Aunt Lily.
Tia Lencha’s Cocina Podcast: Valentime’s Day Aphrodisiac Salsa
Hello pochos y pochas! Guess gwhat? Tia Lencha has a special surprise for ju for Valentimes Day! A new podcast! Yes! Now ju can hear Tia Lencha on the google! (Actually m’ijo says it’s Tia Lencha’s Cocina on iTunes and Spotify podcasts).
Anygways, I haf so mush to tell ju!
Gwhy did I make the podcast? Ju may gwonder. I gwas tire of ladies writing to me saying that I make so mush grammatical mistakes when I talk. I no make grammatical mistakes! They just don know how to read Espanglish.
How did I make the podcast? Ju may gwonder. M’ijo stopped playing video games long enough to put Tia Lencha’s voice on the google. (He say it’s not the google, but ju know what I mean, verdad?).
Who is in the podcast? Ju may gwonder. Is me, and M’ijo’s Daddy (played by actor David Acosta). M’ijo’s Daddy got dump by the Eskeleton Lady and now he hang around Tia Lencha’s house eberyday like one of those flies that get in the house and ju can’t get out.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina Podcast: Valentime’s Day Aphrodisiac Salsa
Hey Vato! presents ‘A Cholo Valentine’ (NSFW video)
As Vatos Smiley and Chuy search for the true meaning of Valentine’s Day — and the place of amor in this troubled world — Smiley’s sister Angie sets them straight on how VDay REALLY works. [NSFW F-bomb.]
Pocho Ocho Way Woke Pickup Lines for Valentine’s Day 2020
Love is in the air for Valentine’s Day.
Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho, Chicano, Chicana, Chican@ and/or Latinx (Gustavo Arellano calls them “wokosos”) to get lucky AND make the world a better place?
Yes, there is, in our list of the Pocho Ocho Way Woke Pickup Lines you can use for Valentine’s Day:
8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Wednesday night — what do you think — 8-ish?
7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?
6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Mas…Pocho Ocho Way Woke Pickup Lines for Valentine’s Day 2020
Pocho Ocho top activists’ pickup lines for Valentine’s Day 2018
Love is in the air for Valentine’s Day.
Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho, Chicano, Chicana, Chican@ and/or Latinx to get lucky AND make the world a better place?
Yes, there is, in our list of the Pocho Ocho Top Activist Pickup Lines you can use for Valentine’s Day:
8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Wednesday night — what do you think — 8-ish?
7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?
6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Mas…Pocho Ocho top activists’ pickup lines for Valentine’s Day 2018
Pocho Ocho top activists’ pickup lines for Valentine’s Day 2017
Love is in the air for Valentine’s Day.
Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho, Chicano, Chicana, Chican@ and/or Latinx to get lucky AND make the world a better place?
Yes, there is, in our list of the Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines you can use for Valentine’s Day:
8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Friday night — what do you think — 8-ish?
7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?
6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Mas…Pocho Ocho top activists’ pickup lines for Valentine’s Day 2017
Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Hot Sexy Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa
I’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha.
Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.
M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weene ebrywhere.
M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Hot Sexy Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa
Hey Vato! It’s ‘A Cholo Valentine’ (NSFW video)
As Vatos Smiley and Chuy search for the true meaning of Valentine’s Day — and the place of amor in this troubled world — Smiley’s sister Angie sets them straight on how VDay REALLY works. [F-bomb.]
Pocho Ocho top activists’ pickup lines for Valentine’s Day
Love is in the air for Valentine’s Day, along with cries for immigration reform, equal economic opportunity and an end to pervasive systemic racism.
Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho, Chicano, Chicana, Chican@ and/or Latinx to get lucky AND make the world a better place?
Yes, there is, in our list of the Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines you can use this Valentine’s Day:
8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Friday night — what do you think — 8-ish?
7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?
6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Mas…Pocho Ocho top activists’ pickup lines for Valentine’s Day
Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Hot and Sexy Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa
I’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha.
Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.
M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weene ebrywhere.
M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Hot and Sexy Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa
Hey, baby, que paso? I thought I was your only vato (❤️ Day video)
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San Antonio Valentine’s Day Shout Out!
“Hey, baby – que paso? I thought I was your only vato!” The Texas Tornados perform in a 1992 BBC video at the Gruene Hall, in Gruene, Texas.
Want to sing along? We’ve got lyrics!
Mas…Hey, baby, que paso? I thought I was your only vato (❤️ Day video)
@SaraChicaD has a Latina Valentine’s Day dilemma (video)
Sara Inés Calderón — POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews and @SaraChicaD on the Tuiter — is facing Valentine’s Day without a boyfriend, a novio. Her grandmother recommends a statue of St. Anthony, the marriage saint; with San Antonio, according to her abuela, she won’t miss the love train.
The Pocho Ocho worst Valentine’s Day gifts evah?
8. Candy Bra: Lets face it, dude, the gift wasn’t really for your girl — it was for your own enjoyment. If eating chalky conversation hearts is what turns you on, you might as well just give her one. Plus, you could have thrown it on her body when she was 
naked. Now you just wasted $14.95 instead of Brachs conversation hearts which are 99 cents.
7. Humidifer: Don’t buy shit just because it’s on sale, unless he or she has severe allergies. Do not let yourself look like a mouth breather.
6. Electric Blanket: I know, I know, I actually got this as a gift on Valentine’s Day. He explained that because he had a Jeep I should take it along when we go out. Shortly after the relationship ended, the blanket ended as well when my niece spilled her Dora the Explorer juice box all over it.
Tia Lencha’s Cocina: My Hot Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa
I’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha. Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.
M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weene ebrywhere.
M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: My Hot Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa
The Idiot’s Guide to Smart People: ‘Sex & Relationships’ (video)
Relationships are hard, even for smart people, and especially around Valentine’s Day, am I right? Can idiots like us get lucky in love? What if we’re dealing with smart people? Can an internet video offer the answer we’ve been looking for? Can we put another question into this paragraph? [If the words boner and/or vagina are NSFW, don’t play this video too loudly or freshen up your resume.]
PREVIOUSLY ON THE IDIOT’S GUIDE:
Mas…The Idiot’s Guide to Smart People: ‘Sex & Relationships’ (video)
How to get a V-Day hyna hookup — cholo style (NSFW video)
A card? Balloons? Flowers? What exactly do you need to hook up with a hot hyna for Valentine’s Day, cholo style? [NSFW adult humor.]
PREVIOUSLY ON CHOLOS AND HYNAS:
Mas…How to get a V-Day hyna hookup — cholo style (NSFW video)
Classic Elise @Buttronica Roedenbeck: ‘Mija Weekly Valentine’ (video)
It’s Valentine’s Day with Elise Roedenbeck (AKA @Buttronica on the Twitter) in this 2013 episode of Mija Weekly! Fall in love all over again with drones, skimpy outfits, GOP immigrant-haters and learn the true meaning of Valentine’s Day. And, says Elise, try not to go into a diabetic coma.
Where is Elise now, you ask?
Mas…Classic Elise @Buttronica Roedenbeck: ‘Mija Weekly Valentine’ (video)
Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines for Valentine’s Day
Love is in the air for Valentine’s Day, along with cries for immigration reform, economic fairness and equal justice.
Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho to get lucky AND make the world a better place?
Yes, there is! Check out our list of the Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines you can use this Valentine’s Day:
8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Friday night — what do you think — 8-ish?
7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?
6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Mas…Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines for Valentine’s Day
