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Pocho Ocho Top Ways We’re Fighting the Corona Virus
TO: ALL POCHO ESTAFF MEMBERS
FROM: JOSÉ CANUSÍ, JEFE-DE-HR
DATE: MARCH 11, 2020
RE: CORONA VIRUS PRECAUTIONS
Your lives are somewhat important to us. That's why we've instituted eight new prophylactic measures to reduce estaff exposure to some possibly dangerous germs and shit.
Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways We're Fighting the Corona Virus:
8. The 11AM editorial meeting, usually held at BarrioBucks, has been moved to the Wuhan Wok restaurant next door because they value our business, whereas BB won't let us forget that chanclazo in December.
7. Please see me for your choice of luchador masks and/or dog cones to help you not touch your face.
6. Hand sanitizing stations have been installed around the office that dispense Vicks® VapoRub™.
Mexicans: 7-Up is good for whatever TF that thing is you have (video)
Alonzo Alcaraz (no relation to POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz) is the spokesman in this new commercial for 7-Up.
PREVIOUSLY ON 7-UP:
Mas…Mexicans: 7-Up is good for whatever TF that thing is you have (video)
Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Lunsford Richardson
FINAL INSTALLMENT: They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
Mrs. Mary Smith Richardson was not a happy camper, if they even had camps in Selma, AL in 1884. New husband Lundsford Richardson had an honors degree in Latin from Davidson College but didn’t make enough to raise a family. After all, how many Latin-speakers lived in Alabama in the 19th Century, not to mention Latinos?
When Mary got pregnant while Lunsford was teaching at the Little River Academy, they knew things had to change quick.
With a loan from from Mary’s brother, a physician, Lunsford started a small pharmacy in Selma.
Mas…Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Lunsford Richardson
Pocho Ocho must-have Mayan Apocalypse survival kit items
With Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 under three months away, time is running out to assemble the emergency survival supplies you’ll need in your underground shelter. [Check our countdown clock in the right column.]
Remember:
Unforeseen dangers and unknown entities will be lurking in your No-Tech Future Hell on Earth (think Mad Max meets the chupacabra), what you have with you will determine whether you live or die.
Aside from rice, beans, water, sanitary supplies and beer (which will also be the means of exchange, i.e., money), these are the pocho ocho top items you need:
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8. Aqua Net
7. VapoRub
6. Switchblade (for him)
5. Chanclas (for her)
Mas…Pocho Ocho must-have Mayan Apocalypse survival kit items