venezuela

It’s the October Surprise! Pocho Ocho Top JuikiLiques Bombshells

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juikiVenezuela-based “transparency” website JuikiLiques dropped some big political bombshells this morning — the so-called “October Surprise.”

POCHO’s Especial Correspondents axed all the refryable sources to concoct this list, so check it out: The Pocho Ocho Top Juikiliques Bombshells:

8. Donald Trump’s plan to have “Mexico pay for the wall” relies on hiring Mexican workers, not paying them, and then deporting them, a scheme that worked so well in previous real estate projects.

7. Hillary Clinton threw away over 200 valuable AOL membership CDs and never told the FBI.

6. Donald Trump’s hairdresser, former airport cosmetologist Manila Envelopé, won’t use anything but Tres Flores mousse for Trump’s weave-over, but she removes the labels so the Donald won’t know.

Mas…It’s the October Surprise! Pocho Ocho Top JuikiLiques Bombshells

Happy May Day 2016 from the Workers of the World (video, lyrics)

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maydaybigEnjoy the Internacional, the world-wide (Get it? It’s international!) anthem of those red commie cabrones in Cuba and Venezuela and China and North Korea (and lurking in secretive Sanders cells here in the Homeland but the lamestream media sheeple won’t tell you that).

Tomorrow, May 1, is May Day AKA International Workers’ Day, when the communist comrades sing this stirring appeal, with its hummable melody and a vague vision of making the future great again that’s hard to disagree with, except maybe the LUCHA FINAL aspect.

Mas…Happy May Day 2016 from the Workers of the World (video, lyrics)

Happy May Day from the Workers of the World (music video, lyrics)

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maydaybigEnjoy the Internacional, the world-wide (Get it? It’s international!) anthem of those red commie cabrones in Cuba and Venezuela and China and North Korea (and lurking in secretive cells everywhere else but the lamestream media sheeple won’t tell you that).

Tomorrow, May 1, is May Day AKA International Workers’ Day, when the communist comrades sing this stirring appeal, with its hummable melody and a vague vision of a better future that’s hard to disagree with, except maybe the LUCHA FINAL aspect.

Mas…Happy May Day from the Workers of the World (music video, lyrics)

Luminous OVNI/UFO buzzes Venezuela cemetery

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CemeteryUFOTimes are tough in Venezuela, where Hugo Chavez‘ successor Commandante El Presidente Nicolas Maduro’s command economy has people scrambling for toilet paper as socialist shit production has outpaced the supply of papel higiénico.

But that’s not all! Last month, a half dozen people witnessed a glowing OVNI/UFO hovering above a cemetery near the sad country’s capital.

Héctor Escalante’s original Spanish report was translated by Inexplicata:

Mas…Luminous OVNI/UFO buzzes Venezuela cemetery

In Pittsburgh, PA writers from Venezuela, El Salvador are free (audio)

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Leftist loonies like Nicolas Maduro of Venezuela don’t much like criticism or mockery (i.e., reality) so they throttle creative freedom.

Israel Centeno, who fled the Venezuelan Bolivarian socialist paradise, is among the exiled writers who have found a safe place to live and write in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Latino USA’s Erika Beras brings us the writers’ stories:

Mas…In Pittsburgh, PA writers from Venezuela, El Salvador are free (audio)

BREAKING: Sean Penn set for Cesar Chavez keynote speech

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seanpenn(PNS reporting from MALIBU) Sean Penn will deliver the keynote address at the City of San Jose’s annual Cesar Chavez Day celebration March 31, friends of the actor say. The ceremony honors the late Mexican-American icon and civil rights leader on his birthday.

Penn told dinner companions here Tuesday night that he plans to open the speech at the San Jose Civic Center with some humorous anecdotes.

Mas…BREAKING: Sean Penn set for Cesar Chavez keynote speech

New perfumes offer scents of dead Reds Che and Chavez (video)

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cheperfumeche-nike(PNS reporting from HAVANA) Hey, kids! Now you can smell like dead Commies Che Guevara and/or Hugo Chavez with these two new scents from Cuba’s Labiofarm labs. (That’s “labio” not “labia,” you freaks.)

The just-announced perfume products could be a big source of hard currency for Venezuela‘s flagging economy, which Chavez poisoned and current Commandante Maduro is now kicking in the cojones.

The Hugo Chavez deal, insiders told PNS, was inspired by the Cuban regime’s multi-million-dollar revenue stream from the Che image licensing deal Comarade Fidel made with Nike (photo.)

Mas…New perfumes offer scents of dead Reds Che and Chavez (video)

Did Puerto Rican lawyers cause rise in bed-fall fatalities?

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people-who-died-by-falling-out-of-their-bed_number-of-lawyers-in-puerto-rico(PNS reporting from CAMBRIDGE, MASS) Did you know that the more lawyers there are in Puerto Rico, the more people die from falling out of their beds?

That’s the startling statistical relationship discovered by the prestigious Harvard Law-school-based Spurious Correlations Institute, one of many recently revealed on their website.

Mas…Did Puerto Rican lawyers cause rise in bed-fall fatalities?

Happy May Day from the Workers of the World (music video, lyrics)

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Enjoy the Internacional, the world-wide (Get it? It’s international!) anthem of those red commie cabrones in Cuba and Venezuela and China and North Korea (and lurking in secretive cells everywhere else but the lame stream media sheeple won’t tell you that.)

May 1 is May Day AKA International Workers’ Day. Today the communist comrades sing this stirring appeal, with its hummable melody and a vague vision of a better future that’s hard to disagree with, except maybe the LUCHA FINAL aspect.

Yet even as they sing this Kommie Kumbaya, the Marxist minions are locking millions up arbitrarily, invading foreign countries, spying on their fellow citizens and — we’ve read reports — killing innocent civilians by remote control. Oh, wait.

THE INTERNATIONALE LYRICS IN ENGLISH AND SPANISH:

Mas…Happy May Day from the Workers of the World (music video, lyrics)

From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)

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Hey! I took Russki in college. Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле means “corpse of a chupacabra [found] in Venezuela.”

Poor Venezuela. Ever since Commandante Hugo Chavez died, his chosen successor Nicolas Maduro has had to cope with a series of Yanqui plots that are screwing up the economy in his socialist paradise.

First came the toilet paper shortage which Maduro blamed on imperialist sabotage, although he later tried to paint it as an example of his economic successes, claiming Venezuelan shit production had reached record levels, thereby outstripping the papel hygenico supply.

Mas…From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)

Venezuela’s Maduro Tweets to Obama: ‘Don’t bomb Syria’

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basharmadurobffs


Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro knows what to do about Syria, based on careful study of the works of Jesus of Nazareth, Susan Sontag, Brother Malcolm X, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., John Lennon, Robert Fisk, Hugo Chavez, Howard Zinn and Simon Bolivar.

The commie commandante, still BFFs with murderous Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad, publicly shared his foreign policy expertise with His Excellency Barack Obama Monday afternoon:

Mas…Venezuela’s Maduro Tweets to Obama: ‘Don’t bomb Syria’

Venezuela shit production hits record, outpaces toilet paper supply

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toiletpaperThe Venezuelan Bolivarian Revolution, now firmly guided by the strong and steady hand of Commandante El Presidente Nicolas Maduro, has achieved new records in the production of shit, or mierda as it is known locally.

But pride in the record April crop of fecal material was tempered by a Western capitalist conspiracy which has left the country short of papel higiénico.

Britain’s Metro News reports:

Mas…Venezuela shit production hits record, outpaces toilet paper supply

PNS*Hot*Flash: ‘Jugo Chavez Energy Drink’ cancelled

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BREAKING ÑEWS: (PNS reporting from CARACAS) The death of Commandante El Presidente Hugo Chavez means the Bolivarian Bottling Company has had to cancel plans to produce Jugo Chavez Energy Drink for export to the United Estates, PNS has learned.

The state-owned firm hoped to export the beverage to the U.S. where MEChA chapters, like cookie-selling Girl Scouts, would set up tables selling cans outside student union buildings.

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: ‘Jugo Chavez Energy Drink’ cancelled

Before capitalism cancer kills Hugo Chavez, a look back

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Before capitalism cancer kills commie commissar Hugo Chavez and it would be TOO SOON to mock him, here’s a look back at POCHO’s coverage of the Venezuelan jefe:

  • Victorious Hugo Chavez to Americans: ‘Back my socialist amigo Obama’

(PNS reporting from CARACAS) Hugo Chavez — re-elected to a third six-year term as president of Venezuela — has again called on Americans to re-elect Pres. Barack Obama.

In a four-hour televised speech to his nation late Sunday, Chavez called Obama the best hope for Socialism in the Western Hemisphere. The left-wing strong man had previously endorsed the President in September.

“El Obama deserves your support, gringos,” he said in a rare foray into English. “He may not admit to being a Marxist-Leninist but inside he is as red as your Danny Glover and Oliver Estone.” [Continued here…]

Mas…Before capitalism cancer kills Hugo Chavez, a look back

Victorious Hugo Chavez to Americans: ‘Back my socialist amigo Obama’

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(PNS reporting from CARACAS) Hugo Chavez — re-elected to a third six-year term as president of Venezuela — has again called on Americans to re-elect Pres. Barack Obama.

In a four-hour televised speech to his nation late Sunday, Chavez called Obama the best hope for Socialism in the Western Hemisphere. The left-wing strong man had previously endorsed the President in September.

“El Obama deserves your support, gringos,” he said in a rare foray into English. “He may not admit to being a Marxist-Leninist but inside he is as red as your Danny Glover and Oliver Estone. “

Mas…Victorious Hugo Chavez to Americans: ‘Back my socialist amigo Obama’