The UFO/OVNI sightings of bright lights flying into Mexico City’s Popocateptl volcano — the ones authorities said were optical illusions last time around — have shown up on TV news again.
And peep this video of what appears to be the Mothership flying over Santa Clarita, northwest of Los Angeles:
Mas…UFO/OVNI sightings over Popocatepetl, Santa Clarita CA (videos)
North Korea’s Glorious Space Program, launched by Eternally Alive Fearless Leader Kim Jong-Il, has crushed the American Capitalist Running Dogs, destroyed flag-shrouded New York City, all while you sleep, accompanied by the luscious sounds of the Marxist Muzak Orchestra playing We Are the World — and we’ve got video!
Mas…North Korean space shuttle attacks U.S., Manhattan on fire (video)
From Pres. Barack Obama’s Second Inaugural Address: “Your baby cousin likes me because I’m more normal and have a smooshy finger? No!”
When the camera stops rolling, she’s just Sonia from the Bronx. [NSFW audio.] Video by Roberta Valderrama.
MORE ROBERTA VALDERRAMA:
Mas…Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor up close and personal (video)
It’s never a slow ñews day in Rancho Pocho, what with the freezing temperatures, babbling stars on awards shows and fools trying to outrun the police. Take, for example, this baboso who is born to run the streets near Los Angeles International Airport…
“POCHO,” they email us, “why you be hatin’ all the time? Imma tell you the gente are tired of all that. They want dancing — and dogs!” We are so here for you, dear readers.
Reportero follows a veteran reporter and his colleagues at Zeta, a Tijuana-based independent newsweekly, as they stubbornly ply their trade in one of the deadliest places in the world for members of the media. As the drug war intensifies and the risks to journalists become greater, will the free press be silenced?
Eddie Murphy, always fly, wishes everyone a Merry New Year!
New Mexico pocho Louis Head sent in this 30-second travel video. Be careful out there, pochos — cross in the crosswalks and espere la luz!
(PNS reporting from VAN NUYS) Adult movie editor Roberto Mendoza was fired from his job at Burning Sensations Movie Productions last week after being repeatedly caught browsing spreadsheets on his computer.
“It started innocently enough,” he told PNS. “There I was editing a facial pop shot compilation from our Fish Tacos series, when I noticed someone had left a spreadsheet of sales figures in with the video files.”
“I’d always been a little…curious. I took a break from Final Cut Pro and opened up the file, and suddenly my screen was filled with all these rigid columns of data.”
A spokesman from Burning Sensations said that following his dismissal, an inspection of Mendoza’s computer had revealed a hidden folder containing over 3,000 spreadsheets.
Mas…Porn video editor fired for browsing spreadsheets at work
Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul, with a corn cob pipe and a button nose, and two eyes made of coal. This Providence, RI snowman ain’t Frosty, who never ate a freakin’ felafel his whole life. True fact. (NSFW audio.)
Today the names Smaug and Thorin Oakenshield will enter American pop culture. Dwarves rambling on a reconquista while Gollum plays riddles will reach a new audience because Peter Jackson filmed the nerd classic, The Hobbit — prequel to Lord of the Rings.
Film has more impact than the written word in today’s society and this version will reach a greater number of people than J.R.R. Tolkien’s book ever will. I am overjoyed that this classic will reach a greater number of gente, but I am filled with sadness that a child’s first encounter with The Hobbit will be in a loud theater instead of a quiet library.
Regardless, I look forward seeing my mental images from the book acted out in the big screen. And remembering the hours reading the book, which played a monumental role in my becoming Eres Nerd.
Mas…When ‘The Hobbit’ took back Aztlán: A Latino nerd reads Tolkien
If you’re planning on driving National Route No. 5 in Argentina’s pampas region — especially between Santa Rosa and Catrilo — be extra careful. There are rifts in the spacetime continuum there, so-called “zonas de pérdida temporal.” Drivers may be subject to “missing time.”
That’s the warning recently issued by Agentinean Oscar “Quique” Mario, founder of the Centro de Estudios OVNI (CEUFO.)
From the Inexplicata blog:
…People driving along National Route No. 5, specifically the segment between the localities of Lonquimay and Anguil, and who may have sensed time anomalies, should please report it immediately to CEUFO, as we have received reports of three cases at different times and days within the past month.”
Mas…Argentine OVNI investigator warns of spacetime rifts on Route #5
In the world of videos on the Internets, we all see cat videos (or kitteh videos as they are known in some circles.)
Sometimes you see cat ninja videos, but not too often. (It’s very hard to get a cat to pay attention all the way through ninja training.)
And maybe, once in a lifetime, you find a kitteh ninja video en Español. Behold: El Gato Ninja. You’re welcome.
POCHO, your web authority on taco- and burrito-loving geekological innovation, is proud to feature this video showcasing the latest advance in remote burrito delivery logistics, just in time for Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 [SEE COUNTDOWN CLOCK IN RIGHT COLUMN.]
Real, unlike the bogus Taco Copter, outshining the burrito-making robot and the limited Siri-assisted margarita maker, the Burrito Bomber actually flies and drops tasty burritos at your location. ¡Orale!
Mas…Mexican food tech flies high with the ‘Burrito Bomber’ (video)
A perro muerto mummified by the Mayans, they think, is ready for tests in Merrie Olde Englande. Estimated age for the kaput canine is 1000 years or so, and the pooch doesn’t look a day over 200!
And while we’re on the subject of pet videos from Europe, in Russia, if you’re a cat, dog fetch you!
In this video for POCHO U’s Gabacho Outreach Program (POCHO U, GOP!) I demonstrate the Chicano Handshake including a California version, a Texas version and a version with extra love. Why can’t we be friends?
Mexican civil defense officials are reassuring a troubled nation that the UFO/OVNI captured on video apparently falling down INTO the smoldering Popopcatepetl volcano was actually a distant meteorite.
Inexplicata translated the report:
Mas…Update: Mexico says Popocatepetl UFO/OVNI was distant meteorite
It’s the very first Mr. Mean Adventure, Filero Grande vs Pipa Chica, from Louis Moncivias.
Dressed all in black, Goth Justice Sonia Sotomayor mugs for the camera and wastes taxpayer money that could be better spent on drones, bombs and bayonets in this Sesame Street video about “careers” for girls.
In collusion with Big Bird’s socialist PBS pals, the unmarried jurist mocks the proud American tradition of Walt Disney princesses and never once mentions the proper female occupation of staying at home and cleaning the house and cooking dinner for the family.
Unashamed, the ultra-liberal home wrecker actually tells impressionable little Muppette Abby to “get a career.”
You voted for this, people. Muppets, PBS and “Hispanics.” The line to Canada forms on the right.
Zombies like shopping malls, although no one knows exactly why. In the award-winning short Zombies and Cigarettes the ghouls attack a mall in Spain and four people try to survive and escape. Will they find an exit? Will they find true love? Or, failing that, will they be able to get the blood off their clothes? (Warning: Gory violence. Spanish with English titles.)
It’s a loud chicken, and then it’s a really angry bird. (No frijoles were harmed in the making of this video.)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd Presidente of Los United Estates, is back from the dead and live on YouTube with a video that explains the first Presidential Debate in just one minute.
In an age when books have trailers, some trailers float higher in the flotsam and jetsam of mass-market, dead-tree publishing, especially when they graphically portray the destructive American volcanos and Atlantic tsunamis that will rock your world on Dec. 21. [See POCHO’s Mexclusive Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 Countdown Clock in the right column of this page.]
Tired of Machu Pichu? Eco-tourism in Borneo too old school? Disneyworld — been there done that? Visit exciting Illegal Border Crossing Park where you can spend a terrified night being hunted by “La Migra.” Under $20 per person!
H/T Huffington Post.
Gov. Mitt Romney’s campaign has released another commercial aimed at Latino voters. This one is designed for the Colorado electorate.
Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement, starts at sundown tonight, and Judios all over the world confess their sins and ask forgiveness from each other and God.
In this short video, Reform Temple B’nai Pocho‘s Cantor Mindy Raf sings the traditional Yom Kippur confession hymn.
POCHO’s ñewsweek was all about the Mittster as the GOP wannabe wished he were a puro Latino, dissed half of America and looked mysteriously moreno on a Univision appearance.
But wait, there’s more! Sarah Silverman explained how the GOP is trying to keep you from voting, Latinas have racist vaginas, and that new monkey species discovered in Africa reminded us of…JESUS?
The links:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Romney el moreno; no photo, no voto; santo monkey
I say that jokingly, but it would be helpful to be Latino.
Sometimes I say the DARNDEST THINGS. As a Republican Presidential candidate with a good chance of unseating an incumbent Presidente, it is very important to watch what you say. But I keep on saying CREYSY CHET.
It’s as if I’m not aware that I am ALREADY LATINO. I am already enjoying the benefits of being MORE LATINO THAN SHOULD BE LEGALLY ALLOWED.
People really don’t realize that Mexican Mitt Romney is SOOOO LATINO. Let me help the still clueless. My PADRE was born in CHIHUAHUA on a RANCHO. (Rancho is Spanish for MORMON POLYGAMOUS COMPOUND.) His parents had Self-Deported to Mexico before the Mexican Revolution, and Self-Deported back during. Then they were on government assistance. WHOOPS, THAT WAS A PRETTY MEXICAN THING TO DO.
Our favorite existentially-troubled puppets Chuy and Smiley are back with the first new Hey Vato! episode of the fall season. It’s called Friend me, ese and it’s all about — you guessed it – beeches and Feisbuk. Guest star: Jane Austen.
After small-town Middle American Neil Armstrong returned from the Moon, life never was the same, even during The Ohio Years.