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Romney gets especial love at El Palacio de los Jugos in Miami (video)
When GOP nominee wannabe Mitt Romney visited El Palacio de los Jugos in Miami earlier this month, he was greeted by the owner, a convicted Koch coke dealer, and an excited, vocal crowd. Angel Reyes was there and shot this video.
Comic Dennis Vargas: How to confuse white people (video)
Confusing white people is easy if you follow these handy tips from stand-up comedian Dennis Vargas.
Guns, drugs, a plane – three men on ‘La Cañada (The Cliff)’ [video]
La Cañada (The Cliff) A film by Carlo Corea. Spanish with English subtitles (Spanish dialog NSFW if people at work don’t like Spanish adult language.)
Emilio and Nicolás, two drug dealers, are filling up their private plane with packages of cocaine in the Mexican mountains when a peasant stumbles into their operation. The Indio asks for a ride to the other side of the cliff.
The decision divides Nico (the boss) and Emilio (his helper), who must face the consequences of their decisions.
Mas…Guns, drugs, a plane – three men on ‘La Cañada (The Cliff)’
Deadly mercenaries and landscapers: ‘The Mexpendables’ (video)
The world’s deadliest team of mercenaries/landscapers. Their lives. Their Hollywood careers. All…Mexpendable. (From The Latino Comedy Project.)
Nasty Nalgas Research: Stressed out guys like big butts (with videos)
I am always so proud when humanity expands the frontiers of knowledge. Scientific American reports the result of a new study:
The team took college men and had half of them perform a stressful task unrelated to food or money which raised their cortisol levels. They then asked the stressed and unstressed men to take a look at some images of women, and rate their attractiveness. The images varied in body size, from underweight to obese. Finally, they recorded the participants own weight, height, and hunger status, as controlling variables.
The results were clear. The stressed out guys preferred a larger body size than their relaxed counterparts – but that was not all. “Men experiencing stress not only perceive a heavier female body size as maximally attractive, but also more positively perceive heavier female body sizes and have a wider range of body sizes considered physically attractive.
There may be less to this than meets the eye, according to colleague Victor Payan:
Mas…Nasty Nalgas Research: Stressed out guys like big butts (with videos)
Write, draw or shoot for POCHO and win the respect of your peers
Face it, pochos, money can’t buy you love. But respect –R-E-S-P-E-C-T — well, that can go a long way towards letting your love light shine.
And that’s why we want to remind you once again of a very special opportunity to earn the respect of your peers, street cred in your neighborhood and, possibly, the approbation of total strangers from all across the InterT00bZ, if not actual cash.
All you need to do is to send POCHO your dreams and nightmares for distribution on the World Wide Web — for the greater good of humanity. Send original photos, videos, cartoons, illustrations, short stories and ñews that will amuse, titillate and elevate America. Is that so much to ask?
Mas…Write, draw or shoot for POCHO and win the respect of your peers
Video Double Feature: Sometimes a bicycle is more than a bicycle
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A bicycle is just basic transportation, really. Wheels, metal tubes, chains, gears, rubber, grease, paint if you’re lucky, a basket and maybe a bell. Yet sometimes it’s a vehicle that binds fathers and daughters together.
Brasil sends us the multi-award-winning O Plantador de Quiabos (the okra planter) in Portuguese with English subtitles and from San Francisco’s Mission District comes a documentary that introduces us to the family behind La Bicicleta Vieja (the old bicycle), Spanish with English subtitles.
Enjoy these two shorts – our Sabado Pochonte Double Feature!
Mas…Video Double Feature: Sometimes a bicycle is more than a bicycle
Fresh Father’ Day gift idea: Make a necktie from a napkin (video)
It’s not too late to get a cool present for Dad. But another necktie for Father’s Day? Seriously? Does he even WEAR neckties except for funerals or court? But he eats, am I right? So make him a napkin necktie — the spork of dining fashion. This video shows you how.
Can we all just get along? How about ‘CoExist’ bumper stickers? (video)
You know those “CoExist” bumper stickers with the various religious symbols? In this silent video shot at Mariachi Square in East Los, our hero Vincenzo questions “bumper sticker politics” and discovers the truth behind that over-hyped word.
Atomic TV: Masks, Monsters & Mexican Mayhem (video)
They do public access TV differently in Baltimore:
Hosted by Nashville’s rockin’ combo Los Straitjackets… Masked Mexican Wrestlers!… The real international man of mystery, El Santo!… Mexican monster movies… Mondo films… People eating Parasites – and The Dead!… Spanish Superhero El Barrio vs. Tony the Landlord in the squared circle… Meet a Roman Catholic Masked Wrestler Priest!… plus an assortment of vintage Atomic Scare Films and Civil Defense Messages and old Natty Boh commercials.
Carmen’s Mexican Wake Up Call Service is guaranteed (NSFW video)
Even though it’s Tuesday, it feels like Monday, right? And it was hard to get up when the alarm rang this morning, right? When you absolutely, positively can’t oversleep, try Carmen’s Mexican Wake Up Call Service. You’ll be wide awake in no #$@%#%%^ time! (NSFW language.)
Carmelita, the diva on a budget, is ‘So Spicy’ (NSFW video)
Frankie Quinones — who was unforgettable as the star of The Cholo Whisperer — returns to the YouTube screen as Carmelita, the diva on a budget. She is So Eh-Spicy. (NSFW language.)
Pan-Latino underground club in Queens: Welcome to Metal Kingdom
Hey! It’s a Cinco de Mayo Sabado Pochonte video shoutout to the heavy metal head banger pochos in New York City — no banda for you! Welcome to Metal Kingdom is a short documentary on an underground Pan-Latino heavy metal club in Queens, NY. Filmed, directed and produced by Denise R. Gaberman. (NSFW language, etc.)
4/20 Video: Lawrence Welk is ‘One Toke Over the Line’
In one of the most bizarre episodes ever run on the super square Lawrence Welk TV variety show, the ensemble presents their feel-good version of Brewer & Shipleys’ One Toke Over the Line.
I know, right? What were they thinking? Why is the under-conductor coughing like he sparked a harsh nug? Is the band giggling in the background? Did Welk think it was some kind of gospel tune?
Video: Strange noises terrify TX and OK, Popocatepetl rumbling
Every day brings us closer to Mayan Doomsday — Mother Earth will not rest.
Terrified reports of strange, unearthly noises have moved from the Upper Midwest and Canada to the Southwest, scaring the crap out of people in Amarillo, TX and rural Rogers County, OK.
South of the border, Mexican authorities just raised the alert level at the Popocatepetl volcano outside Mexico City.
The Amarillo incident is on video shot by two DJs from KISS FM who ran out of the studio to capture the ghostly howl (below).
Mas…Video: Strange noises terrify TX and OK, Popocatepetl rumbling
Ñewsweek: Curse like a Mexican, think like a vato, build an arcade
Attention pinche pendejos! Yes, you, culero! What? You don’t know what we’re talking about? Then you need to watch the one-minute video refresher course on How to curse like a Mexican, the biggest story on POCHO this week.
For the link and our other big stories, keep reading below.
Mas…Ñewsweek: Curse like a Mexican, think like a vato, build an arcade
Kids, lowrider bikes, culture and history in Tucson 1996: ‘Low y Cool’
When a French filmmaker shoots Chicano Tucson, the result is fascinating and maybe a little bit foreign — in a good way. Low y Cool documents the lives of the Camaradas Lowrider Bike Club in South Tucson, AZ in 1996. The 52-minute video was directed by Tucson resident and transplanted Frenchie Marianne Dissard with funding from French TV channel Planête Cable. The film has been seen regularly since 1997 on Planête.
‘Hey Vato!’ In the hood, a moment of self-reflection (NSFW video)
Hey Vato! stars “two puppet cholos who have discussions about everyday “hood” issues and question their ghetto instincts,” director Juan Rodriguez emails. In the first episode, the “struggle within” captures the boys’ attention. Chuy (on the left) is in the jersey and Smiley is wearing the Pendleton. Ralph Waldo Emerson is also involved. (NSFW language.)
POCHO remembers ñewsman Mike Wallace of CBS-TV’s ’60 Minutes’
Mike Wallace, iconic hard-hitting interviewer and 60 Minutes OG, died Sunday at 93.
For one classic story, Wallace went to China to track down the manufacturer of counterfeit American toys and ended up confronting a smarmy, chain-smoking attorney, Nathan Thurm, Esq. Thurm was not pleased.
Disinformation Company: Doomsday 2012 Science or Superstition?
Yo what is up with all this Mayan Doomsday 2012 stuff? We need some disinformation and we need it now, and that’s why we turned to the Disinformation Company for this video. Like check it:
Disinformation Company producer Gary Baddeley, director Nimrod Erez and the Disinformation team contacted and arranged interviews with multiple experts, often obtaining speedy access due to more than ten years of working with them or colleagues in their fields!
Mas…Disinformation Company: Doomsday 2012 Science or Superstition?
Video: Tortilla-chip UFO buzzes York, England — again
“The mysterious Dudley Dorito UFO has been spotted for the fourth time in five years flying through a cloudless sky over woodland in Yorkshire,” reports Britain’s The Sun:
The object, which looks like an extra-terrestrial tortilla chip, was captured by an amateur cameraman who posted the footage on YouTube. He can be heard saying “I don’t know what that is” as the triangular aircraft glides silently across the frame above a forest in the north of England.
The UFO was dubbed the Dudley Dorito after its first sighting over the Midlands in 2007 but it is unclear whether the YouTube footage is real or a hoax.
Superhero Video: The Adventures of Paleta Man (Parts 1 & 2)
The Adventures of Paleta Man is the story of an ice cream man who becomes a superhero. And this video — hold on now — is an adaptation of a coloring book based on the Paleta Man screenplay by independent writer/filmmaker Paul Ramirez of Austin, TX. The video is best when played fullscreen. The plot:
Esteban Ruiz makes a living by selling ice cream. A good and hardworking man, Esteban enjoys his job, especially when it brings him closer to Margarita Morales, the woman he loves. But being a modest man makes Esteban an easy target. He has been bullied, and becomes frustrated by his inability to defend himself. His fate suddenly changes when he purchases an antique wooden box. The box contains a magical medallion that gives Esteban special abilities. With his newly acquired strength, he decides to help those in need and punish criminals. He calls himself Paleta Man. When a villain captures Margarita, Esteban will need all of his super powers.
Part 2 — Secret of the Gold Medallion — is below.
Mas…Superhero Video: The Adventures of Paleta Man (Parts 1 & 2)
New Mexico Tourism Board’s racist want ad: ‘Morenos need not apply’
When your casting call includes skin color, people are going to think one of two things: Either you’re filming a sunblock ad or you’re a stone racist.
The New Mexico Tourism Board’s little gaffe (nicely summed up here from local news clips by the sharp folks at Cuentame) pretty much says it: Arizona Cerebral Fever – which renders bureaucrats completely tone-deaf to their own cluelessness about race – is contagious. You catch it from the pendejos next door in the Hate State of Arizona.
What’s priceless is the third-class backpedaling the spokeswoman offers – about how they’re looking for “a wide range of people” and this spot is “the first of many.”
Mas…New Mexico Tourism Board’s racist want ad: ‘Morenos need not apply’
Pocho Ocho signs the paletero is on steroids
8. Can outrun a G 55 AMG Mercedes with his church shoes on.
7. Takes the freeway to work with three dudes riding on the top of push cart.
6. Works downtown but has lunch in Mexico.
Video Triple Feature! Cheech’s art + braceros + ‘Margarita’
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Sabado Pochonte Triple Feature! Cheech Marin’s collection of “small Chicano paintings” lights up the documentary Chicanitas, the black and white history of braceros comes to life in Harvest of Loneliness and the classic poem by Ruben Dario shimmers in the wordless animated Margarita.
Mas…Video Triple Feature! Cheech’s art + braceros + ‘Margarita’
Amazing surrealist video: ‘Fresh Guacamole’ (delicious, too!)
POCHO has a cooking video from My Drunk Kitchen (tacos) and recipes from Tia Lencha’s Cocina (aphrodisiac salsa) but we’ve never wanted to taste anything as much as this extra special Fresh Guacamole! There’s more about how and why they make this video magic at the PES site. Molcajete optional.
Univision interviews a white guy and he’s happy to be there
White guy Billy Kimball gives Enrique Santos the “white” perspective on iLatino issues like dancing and citizenship, and clarifies a few details about early white immigrants, such as their dealings with documentation. But we have to ask: “Does Billy Kimball have a zucchini in his trousers or is he just happy to see Enrique?”
Mexclusive: Mexican Mitt Romney for President (music video)
[If you liked the video, you can now own the song. Get it on iTunes ahora! Mexican Mitt's "(I Wanna Be) The First Latino President" ]
After sweeping both Arizona and Michigan –– he says it’s because the gringos won’t do it -– a certain South-of-the-Border candidate is clearing his way to “paint the White House brown!” The affable and mariachi-like Mexi-Mormon is a tough campaigner, and says he is “in it to guin it.” Mexican Mitt Romney, the Most Mexican Man in the World, wants to be the first Latino President. This is his story — in song.
Mas…Mexclusive: Mexican Mitt Romney for President (music video)
Video: Amadeus the Chihuahua plays pool
Some cats and dogs are smarter than people, according to a recent report. But you already knew that, didn’t you? Sit. Sit. That’s a good pocho. Not convinced about the intelligence thing? You need to see these pussy cats perform Over the Rainbow.
SCHWA the Video: Dear ‘Stick People’ – Your Alien Overlords are here
Before X Files claimed “the truth is out there,” before anyone heard of the Mayan Apocalypse, visionary Bill Barker raised the alarm, warning the few who would listen about the real illegal immigration threat – the imminent invasion of Gray Aliens from Outer Espace.
For a while, anyhow. Then he went over to Their Side.
Hollywood-born Barker, who recently approached POCHO to sugarcoat his poison meme, claimed:
I “parquito the espanale” a little. And I was raised in East L.A., near Maywood.
This human sellout — channeling thought emanations from Zeta Reticuli — created, built, staffed and managed the SCHWA Corporation, the holding company of the grays. His mission? Carry out the commands of the Alien Overlords and complete the domination of Earth and its clueless Stick People.
Barker proudly gave POCHO his SCHWA World Operations Manual so we could make this video, ribbed for your protection.
Mas…SCHWA the Video: Dear ‘Stick People’ – Your Alien Overlords are here
Video: The ‘Sheriff Babeu for @MexicanMitt’ TV spot
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) It’s the commercial the Mexican Mitt Romney campaign didn’t want you to see — an explosive TV endorsement by anti-immigrant Sheriff Paul Babeu calling for the erection of a GAYDAR border fence.
The six-figure TV buy on local stations was cancelled over the weekend after Babeu faced hard questions about how exactly he meant to “get to the bottom” of the Mexican immigrant situation.