Mas…La Cucaracha: Trump Sneakers Offer Latest in Trump Technology
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Pocho Ocho top reasons I’m still scared of taco trucks on every corner
Remember that Latinx Trump supporter who told us to be scared, because if Hillary were elected there would be taco trucks on every corner? This vendido:
Dude was right, and here are the Pocho Ocho Top Reasons Why:
8. I’ll be forced into a perpetual cycle of “How many tacos can I eat in one sitting?”
7. Increased likelihood I’m ordering after a white guy who speaks better Spanish than me (shot-out Mormon missionaries, I see tu’).
6. In the first week, I’ll lose three fingers from frostbite after digging out my Mexican Coke from under the avalanche of shaved ice.
Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons I’m still scared of taco trucks on every corner
VIDEO: Bert the Turtle stars in ‘Duck and Cover’ (1951)
Hey, you pochos who are not Baby Boomers: Come with us now to the thrilling days of yesteryear (1951) when Americans worried about a nuclear attack from an evil Commie dictator across the sea. Good times!
Bob Dylan 2010,1964: The Times They Are A-Changin’ (videos,lyrics)
Winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature Bob Dylan is a poet and a prophet, and he sang his 1964 prophecy for the Obamas and America at the White House: The Times They Are A-Changin’. [Scroll to bottom of the page for a live in 1964 version.]
These lyrics contain a hopeful vision and a warning. Some changes are STILL overdue, and some folks need to step back, and get out of the way.
Mas…Bob Dylan 2010,1964: The Times They Are A-Changin’ (videos,lyrics)
BREAKING: Bernie Bros’ exploding heads spur FBI zombie alert
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The FBI is warning citizens to be on the lookout for hungry zombies attracted by the brains spewed from the exploding heads of diehard Bernie Bros.
Bernie Sanders supporters’ brains, the Feds said, are piling up on the streets of gentrified neighborhoods across America.
The brainiac explosions followed Sanders’ endorsement of Democratic presidential nomination rival Hillary Clinton this morning.
“These zombies especially love the entitled taste of Bernie Bro brains,” FBI spokesman Whitman “Ken” Jump told a press conference here today (photo). “We’re calling them Zombros.“
Mas…BREAKING: Bernie Bros’ exploding heads spur FBI zombie alert
Mexican farmer built pyramid because space aliens from Orion (videos)
Raymundo Corona built a stone pyramid on his farm near the Mexico-U.S. border on orders from a tall alien from the Constellation Orion named Herulayka, who had honey-colored eyes and white hair, like many Orionians, except for those other Orionians with honey-colored hair and white eyes, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Mas…Mexican farmer built pyramid because space aliens from Orion (videos)
Important Health Warning: Do not eat @ Chipotle Mexican Grill (video)
Official Online Youth Consumer Advocate Shaan Hingorani offers an important health and safety warning about the dangers of eating at Chipotle Mexican Grill.
Pope: ‘Quakes are message from God: Let there be gay’
(PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) The recent earthquakes in Southern California are a message from God, according to Pope Francis. The Almighty, he told a visiting delegation of American Catholics Monday, will shake things up until they are more gay.
“Lord knows this mortal world needs some bright flashes of color that aren’t suicide bomb explosions in crowded markets,” the Pontiff said.”And maybe some marigold-print cafe curtains in that drab nook over there.”
Breaking: Malaysian jet mystery prompts terrorist alert
(PNS reporting from the EAST LOS ANGELES) Pocholandia security officials issued a terrorist alert this morning prompted by the mysterious disappearance of Malaysia Airlines MH370 over the Gulf of Thailand or the Strait of Malacca or wherever that shit happened, yo.
“I am alerting you terrorist pendejos. Stay the hell out of East Los!“ said spokesman Gustavo “Little Lalo” Madrigal of the Minivan Crips, a volunteer neighborhood watch group.
“The AMERICAN ME ORANGE ALERT is the second highest alert classification used by the Pocholandia Security Advisory System, bitches, so watchale!” he added.
Graphics by Victor Payan via Hollywood Sign Generator and Personal Threat Level.
PREVIOUSLY ON TERRORIST THEATRE:
Construction Zone: Must wear hard hat and mustache (photo)
¡Peligro! ¡Bigote! From two years ago, photographer and location unknown, found on Imgur
PREVIOUSLY ON BIGOTE/MUSTACHE:
Mas…Construction Zone: Must wear hard hat and mustache (photo)
Shocking herbal expose! ‘Catnip: Egress to Oblivion?’ (video)
Catnip is all the rage with today’s modern feline, but do we really understand it? This short video dares to expose the shocking facts about this controversial herb and shine a spotlight on what “nip” use is doing to America’s kittehs.
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Argentine OVNI investigator warns of spacetime rifts on Route #5
If you’re planning on driving National Route No. 5 in Argentina’s pampas region — especially between Santa Rosa and Catrilo — be extra careful. There are rifts in the spacetime continuum there, so-called “zonas de pérdida temporal.” Drivers may be subject to “missing time.”
That’s the warning recently issued by Agentinean Oscar “Quique” Mario, founder of the Centro de Estudios OVNI (CEUFO.)
From the Inexplicata blog:
…People driving along National Route No. 5, specifically the segment between the localities of Lonquimay and Anguil, and who may have sensed time anomalies, should please report it immediately to CEUFO, as we have received reports of three cases at different times and days within the past month.”
Mas…Argentine OVNI investigator warns of spacetime rifts on Route #5
Pat Robertson: Tropical storm is God’s warning to Godless God-mockers
(PNS reporting from VIRGINIA) Rev. Pat Robertson told viewers of his 700 Club last night that Tropical Storm Isaac’s assault on the GOP National Convention in Florida is a warning to sinners.
“You goddam shit-for-brains idiots better pay some goddam attention or our Lord and Savior is gonna whip your sorry asses,” Robertson said. “Do you douchebags really think Our Father Who Art In Heaven will let you get away with this shit?”
“Jesus is cheesed the fuck off!” he told the estimated one million viewers of his Christian Broadcasting Network religious talk show. “Our glorious vengeful God is as angry as a hornet in a henhouse. He’s up in Heaven high, saying, ‘You little pussies, you don’t hate the homos enough! You let ’em get married ‘n’ shit? You are slacking off. I will now drown you. Enjoy the flood, mothafuckas!'”
“I’m talking to you, bitches!” he added.
Mas…Pat Robertson: Tropical storm is God’s warning to Godless God-mockers
La Chata’s Music Box: Outernational ‘The Beginning Is Here’ (video)
La Chata’s Music Box presents spankin’-good Spanglish ska from Outernational – The Beginning Is Here, the first video from the activist New York collective’s latest CD (Todos Somos Ilegales We are All Illegal.) (NSFW lyrics.) The title track video (with special guest stars!) is right here, and the band is on the Pocho Hour of Power today at 4PM PDT on KPFK.
Doctors discover natural, instant antidote for unwanted erections
(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Doctors here have discovered an all-natural, fast-acting antidote to unwanted, persistent erections caused by Viagra.
The “erectile dysfunction” drug when taken in excess (and sometimes when taken normally) can cause serious cardiovascular and nerve damage, just like the familiar warnings say.
“We sort of made the discovery by accident when one of our study participants shared his home remedy for overcoming the powerful effects of Viagra,” Dr. Phillip Werner of the University of Texas Health Science Center told a press conference Monday:
The truth is that, often, as physicians we all too often turn to drugs to counteract other drugs when the answer is staring us in the face — literally.
Mas…Doctors discover natural, instant antidote for unwanted erections