It’s no secret: The Grand Old Party needs some new blood.
If the Republican Party, formerly the “Party of Lincoln,” is to succeed nationally, it needs more women, “minorities,” and younger voters. Old angry reactionary white people is not a growing constituency.
Here are Pocho Ocho ways the GOP can bring more young voters aboard:
8. Refer to them as “whippersnappers”
7. Say “dang-fangled” as much as possible
6. Promise 72 virgins to new party members