People, let me tell you — and I’m being honest here — these dog poop bags are absolutely the best dog poop bags. We used to be number one in dog poop bags. But not anymore, folks.
There has been a terrible schlonging in the poop bag market. And you know Hillary’s not going to fix it. But I’m not afraid to tell it like it is. I’m very rich and I’m very attracted to my daughter. I mean, just look at those legs.
My first act as President will be to immediately ban all entry into the United States for people not possessing a valid Donald Trump Dog Poop Bag.
It’s time to MAKE PICKING UP POOP GREAT AGAIN!
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